Most Quotable Movies #6: Airplane!

This is another one of those classic comedies that should be required viewing for anyone born later than 1990. A masterful parody of the airline disaster films of the 1970s, Airplane! packs more one-liners, sight gags, absurdities, and just plain insanity than any other film of its kind. The product of the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker team, this 1980 release is as hilarious today as it ever was.

Part of the fun of the movie is seeing classic dramatic actors who made their careers in the sixties and seventies spoofing their own serious personas. Actors such as Lloyd Bridges, Peter Graves, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack, and Barbara Billingsley play their characters straight and serious, but their lines and actions are completely absurd. This juxtaposition of expectation and actuality is mined continuously for comedic gold.

Like Ghostbusters (#9 on my list), the entire screenplay of Airplane! is eminently quotable. Best of all for me, my mother-in-law is named "Shirley," so the running gag throughout the film of, "Surely you can't be serious," followed each time by, "I am serious...and don't call me Shirley" is twice as much fun during family gatherings. Only listing the quotes doesn't do this movie justice...watch it if you've never seen it, and watch it again if you have...it's still as funny as the first time.

Ten Quotable Lines:

Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Ted: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Elaine: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking... We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered, there's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight... By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Jack Kirkpatrick: Shanna, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash.

Controller: Bad news. The fog's getting thicker.
Johnny: [jumps to an overweight controller] And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger.

Older Lady: Oh, stewardess! I speak jive.

Captain Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

Shirley: I haven't felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film.

McCroskey: [to Mrs. Oveur] Now your husband and the others are alive, but unconscious.
Johnny: Just like Gerald Ford.