Most Hated Songs #15: "Red, Red Wine" by UB40

Starting off my second category of awfulness, Weasel Goes the Pop, is the wretched pile of dog crap at #15 of my most hated songs, "Red, Red Wine" by UB40. For reasons that defy explanation, there was a period in the 1980s when white British bands decided to play reggae music. I'm still at a loss for why the ghost of Bob Marley did not rise from the grave like an avenging spirit in ancient days, but I guess the ganja in music heaven is too dank to worry about this mortal coil.

Most of this white-bread reggae-tinged music is utter crapola, but this is the pinnacle of awfulness. The beat is as slow and exhausting as a hot, humid summer day, and the lead singer's voice is so whiny and annoying you wish there were a way to reach through the stereo and punch him in the throat so he will never bleat another sound again.

To make things even worse, there's a reggae RAP at the end of the song. I shit you not. If you've never heard this song before, listen if you dare, but be forewarned...it's one of the most awful things you'll ever subject your ears to. It's almost as if the record producer told the band, "This is the worst piece of shit I've ever heard...betcha can't make it worse," and the lead singer said, "Hold my beer."

I'd rather...swim from Cuba to Jamaica covered in shark chum than to ever hear even one note of this terrible excuse for music.

Dante's Inferno Level Three: Every person involved in any way with this song is forced to spend eternity cleaning toilets and outhouses in Jamaica in the hottest part of the summer.

Listen instead to: A genuine, original reggae-inspired band that deserves much more credit than they get for a unique, innovative sound—Fishbone. I saw them live twice in Columbia when I was in grad school...still two of the best concerts I've ever attended. Enjoy!