Most Hated Songs #2: "Old Time Rock & Roll" by Bob Seger

The silver medal of shame in the Kill Me Right Now category goes to my #2 most-hated song, "Old Time Rock & Roll" by Bob Seger. This song was featured in Tom Cruise's "dancing in his underwear" scene in the vastly overrated eighties movie Risky Business (seriously, watch it, it's not that good at all), and since that day, this song has been a ubiquitous selection at every dance party occasion in the English-speaking world.

I'm not even kidding about this. Maybe it's different today for young people, since all they seem to want to listen to is someone mumbling over an arrhythmic computer beat (or maybe it's static—who cares?), but for anyone born before 1990, I'd bet you a crisp, American $1 bill that at some point at your prom, class reunion, wedding reception, pub crawl, or any other public gathering, this worthless piece of crap is going to get played.

It's only redeeming quality is the seven-note intro riff, played twice, that serves as my early-warning signal to leave the dance, change the radio station, or shuffle off this mortal coil. I'm not much of a Bob Seger fan to start with, and the fact that he's sold off a good portion of his catalog to American advertising means his generic, Midwestern blues-rock comes on every commercial break, especially during football season. Way to stick it to the man, Bob!

This song is a cold, calculated, crowd-manipulating sing-along that appeals to the lowest common denominator across the board. Singing about how awesome rock and roll is goes back to the origin of the genre, and it's always been the laziest way to write a song. "The song I'm singing is awesome! This music is rock, and it rocks!" Shut the fork up and do something creative, you idiot.

We should also take note that this Blog Club project has exposed the fact that Tom Cruise's movies are a breeding ground for hate-inducing craptastic songs. I generally enjoy Cruise's movies as well as his work in them (I ignore the dumpster fire that is his personal life and "spiritual (?)" beliefs), but we should all go in to his new films with trepidation about what travesty lurks within the soundtrack.

I'd rather...live in Detroit than listen to this song ever again.

Dante's Inferno Level Nine: An eternity spent living in Detroit.

Listen instead to: If you want to hear what American rock & roll is supposed to sound like, here's one of my favorites from the late, great Tom Petty (along with the Heartbreakers, of course!).