Most Hated Songs #12: "Watch Me" by Silento

It's getting worse with each new entry in Weasel Goes the Pop, and today I'm inflicting on the blogosphere my #12 most hated song, "Watch Me" by Silento, or as it's better-known to the entire "Good God, this DJ freaking sucks" dance party world, the "Whip and Nae-Nae" song.

This has to be the only song written by a toddler. "Watch me! Watch me! Hey, watch me! Watch me now! Watch me!" I'm going to watch you sit in time-out if you don't be quiet! Not only is the song beyond bad, it's purpose is to have people do some kind of dance that evidently is supposed to approximate some mild form of seizure.

Look, I've been to enough dances to know there's an expectation about certain group activities. I already know if it's all adults, we're getting Billy Idol's "Mony, Mony" (hence it's inclusion at #20), and if it's a wedding reception in the Midwest, you better believe we're doing the Hokey Pokey and the Chicken Dance. It's gonna happen. And if the party's jumping, and you're with the right people, even these old chestnuts can be fun.

But this "Whip and Nae-Nae" meets none of these criteria. The song itself is atrocious, there's no strong dance beat to speak of (diss disco if you wish, but at least it always had a beat), the "music" sounds like it was stolen from an old Nintendo game, the kid's voice sounds like he's begging for candy at Walmart, and the lyrics...well, I would hate to be overly critical of the creative potential of precocious toddlers, because I think I've known a few who could do better than this.

I'd rather...do the Macarena until my arms and legs are crippled with repetitive stress injury than listen to "Watch Me" or ever have to attempt its alleged "dance moves" again.

Dante's Inferno Level Four: Those responsible for this song are forced to choreograph a complex ten-minute dance routine to a room filled with hungry, angry, sleepy toddlers. No one gets to sit down until each child nails his or her part.

Listen instead to: The grandmama of all dance party group activities, "Electric Slide" by Marcia Griffiths.