My Top 25 Favorite Movies

My friends and I, primarily Steve Lewis and Jeff South, have been kicking around the idea of a "Blog Club" where we can encourage each other to keep active with the regular blog posts as well as comment on similar material, since we all share the same passion for the arts, including film, television, music, theater, and books.

Steve's taken the first crack at his Top 20 Favorite Movies, which he based purely on his subjective preference in terms of how much he enjoys the movie. What this means is that although quality was one of his criteria, it wasn't the determining factor (hence, "favorite" rather than "best").

I've decided to engage the "Blog Club" concept with my own take on my favorite movies but with my own personal twist. I'm sticking with my favorites, but I'm also letting quality drive the process a bit more heavily than Steve did, so you'll see a lot of award-winning, critically favored movies at the top of my list as opposed to the bottom half. This helped me determine the final order of all the movies.

My individual rankings were derived from an assignment I give each time I teach Advanced College Writing, in which I ask students in a group discussion to list their five favorite movies in six categories: a) All-Time; b) Comedy; c) Romance; d) Horror; e) Action-Adventure; f) Sci-Fi/Fantasy. I play along with my class, so I have my own films listed in all these categories.

I took my top three movies in every category (more or less), then threw out a few ("The Exorcist" is the scariest movie of all time but not one of my favorites), plus added in the extra categories of "Animated" and "Gangster." I then put all those movies out on the table and ranked them as a whole based on my personal affinity plus overall quality, critical reception, and awards.

So that's my system, and yes, it's just as subjective as Steve's was, as are all forms of qualitative evaluation (a term my ACW students know all too well). Debating the quality of artistic expression in terms of our emotional and intellectual reaction to those forms is what makes the performing arts such a rich and vital part of human life. It's what drew me to the humanities as a student and what continues to drive me as a college professor.

Here's what you'll see, starting tomorrow, and then hopefully each day as I count down from #25 to #1. If the list were one longer, this example would be #26, which ironically, I list as my #1 funniest movie because it makes me laugh more than any other, but it didn't make the cut because the other 25 are either better quality movies or more beloved favorites. In any case, here's the format you can expect to see:

#26—Liar, Liar (1997)

Genre: Comedy

Director: Tom Shadyac

Writers: Paul Guay, Stephen Mazur

Stars: Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Carey Elwes, Amanda Donohoe, Jennifer Tilly

Awards: 1 Golden Globe nomination—Comic Lead Actor (Carrey)

Metacritic Score: 70

IMDB Ranking: n/a

2017: Silver Linings Recap

One of the last things my good friend and spiritual guru Tom C. told me before I left St. Louis in 1995 to move back to Poplar Bluff to get married was that "life is nothing more than lessons and blessings." Everything that happens is either a blessing to be grateful for or a lesson to teach us how to live better. 2017 was filled with both in the most painful way possible.

Those of you who know me already know that I got divorced last year. I didn't want to end the marriage, but sometimes in life we are forced to accept the unacceptable. My Facebook post back in August was my final public word about the end of that part of my life, and I invite you to go back and read it again. I've learned that being divorced is not the central reality of my life, nor does it define who I am, even though it dominated my thoughts and feelings throughout the year that was.

What's more important is what I've learned from the lessons of that experience, and I hope you'll allow me to share my thoughts about it. First of all, for all you married men: your wife is like a rare and precious orchid, and she needs constant nurturing in order for her to grow and flourish. Don't take your marriage for granted; keep pursuing her heart in the same way you did when you were trying to win her love.

Second, for the wives: Don't ever assume that because you are unhappy that your husband is aware of your unhappiness. Men are simple, direct, literal creatures who generally operate on the principle of "No news is good news." Most of us men lack the empathy and emotional intuition that women take for granted in their own lives. When you have a problem, please tell your husband what it is. Prepare for him to be defensive at first (most men don't like being wrong, even when we know that we are), then allow him space to think about it, and then listen when he proposes a solution to the problem. We are instinctively problem-solvers at heart, but we can't fix something if we don't know it's malfunctioning.

If neither of these observations from my own experience apply to you, your marriage, or your relationship, and you have a happy and flourishing marriage, then I'm grateful for that blessing in your life. I've experienced that feeling for many years, and I hope life affords me that blessing again in the future.

I had some dark times throughout this past year. There were days when it felt like giving up would be so much easier than going on. The lesson from this is that when life gives you more than you can handle, you reach out to everyone available. God was there for me when I felt most alone; when I felt like I was wandering aimlessly through a vast wilderness, he was there with me, assuring me that he could and would lead me out because he had already been there himself.

Friends, family, pastors, and counselors were there for me, as well. I learned that love is everywhere in your life; all you have to do is ask for it. I want to mention by name those who walked this path with me: my mom and dad, who got me through this year day by day; my sister, Julie; all my children and grandkids, whose love has been the foundation of my hope; friends, Steve, Carol, Tuck, Wags, LeighAnn, Lisa, and Tanzina, all of whom were there for me in so many ways; spiritual mentors John H., Jason J., and Tom C.; the cast and crew of Once Upon a Mattress; and probably dozens of others who I haven't mentioned by name but who have been "Eskimos" for me in one way or another this year.

In the midst of all of this, I've had some amazing, life-changing experiences. I self-published my first novel, Dylan's Treasure, in print for the first time, and I received several wonderful reviews on the Amazon sales site in response. I also completed my revisions, rewrites, and edits on my second novel, titled The Spring of Llanfyllin, and I'll be spending the next several weeks soliciting agents to try to get this book professionally published. I'm also actively working on my first screenplay and continuing to develop a short story collection.

Yeah, they feel like that...

Perhaps the biggest blessing was the attack of kidney stones that started on Christmas Eve 2016. The CT scans the ER did for the stones exposed a tumor that two different doctors told me was probably kidney cancer; my urologist said it was an 80 percent chance it was cancer. I had two minor surgeries to treat the stones, then a six-plus hour DaVinci robot surgery to remove the tumor from my right kidney. Then, double-blessings: it wasn't cancer, but it was a fast-growing benign tumor that if left undiagnosed would have burst in my abdomen. These doctors quite literally saved my life.

Being single again after 22 years afforded me several opportunities for involvement in activities that I probably wouldn't have otherwise pursued. I was able to attend two different spiritual conferences, one in Jefferson City, the other in St. Louis, that helped me to reconnect with friends both old and new who are trudging the same road of happy destiny that I've been on for 25 years now (an anniversary I celebrated this past Thanksgiving). My involvement in this organization has deepened in a way that hasn't been present in my life since the beginning of the journey. This membership has also been instrumental in helping carry me through the darkest days of the past year, and for that, I am deeply grateful.

Shenanigans!

I caught the acting bug in a big way. I had wanted to audition for several plays at the college in the past, but adding more activities to an impossible schedule was, well, impossible. This fall, it became possible, and I played the role of "King Sextimus," the mute king of Once Upon a Mattress. This zany musical comedy featured a blend of talent from mature actors, college students, and high school prodigies. Three months of rehearsals and four amazing performances left us all like a family who didn't want to say goodbye when the holiday was over. I'm looking forward to taking part in future productions with our college theater troupe.

Finally, I completed my final graduate philosophy class from University of Illinois-Springfield, which gives me 20 graduate credit hours in the subject, granting me the academic credentials to be certified as an official philosophy professor. This will not only enable me to keep teaching these classes at my current position at Three Rivers, but it qualifies me for future opportunities in this field as the years progress.

Happy New Year!

I've spent most of the past year in anticipation of putting 2017 behind me, but as 2018 begins, it's clear that my blessings have been at least equal to the lessons that challenged me. The new year is off to an auspicious start with a new car to take me to wherever life leads me in the weeks and months to come. To all of you who have been with me in the year that was, let's hope this new year affords us all abundant blessings. As for the lessons...if they're yours, know that I'll always be here for you in the same way you were for me.

My Top Ten Favorite Television Series of 2017

We are truly living in the Golden Age of television with all the various creative outlets available to do innovative, risk-taking, get out of the box and nuke the forking thing TV shows. Let's hope the GOP's ongoing plan to give what little is left of "not owned by the one percent," demonstrated in this case by the repeal of net neutrality, doesn't kill off all the streaming web outlets that provided numbers three and four of this list and gives the other shows the opportunity to binge-watch content we missed the first time around.

Two caveats: First, this is a list of my ten favorite shows from the past year. I'm not saying they're better than your favorites; these are the ones that entertained me. That makes the list subjective, which means neither of us are wrong or right (take a philosophy class if this is unclear to you). If you don't like my list, start your own blog. Second, I'm revealing spoilers in my mini-reviews, so if you haven't seen any of these shows, but you're planning on bingeing in the future to get caught up, hit the road, Jack.

#10—Will and Grace (NBC)
Yeah, I'm just as surprised as you are. Of all the shows that had their run and went off the air, this is not one I would have picked to return. However, the cast is as good and funny as they ever were, the sharpness of the relationships between these characters is as endearing as talking with an old friend, and the politics couldn't be more cutting or appropriate. The real gem, now as before, is Megan Mullally's Karen—how this actress manages to combine alcoholic one-percenter vapidness with smoking cougar sexiness and genuine vulnerability is nothing short of genius. I may not have ordered this one, but I'm glad it was delivered all the same.

#9—The Good Doctor (ABC)
It's as predictable as a romance novel and cornier than Autumn in Iowa, but boy, does this cast deliver the goods. Freddie Highmore portrays Dr. Sean Murphy, an autistic savant surgeon who is given a shot as a resident at a San Jose, CA, hospital. West Wing veteran Richard Schiff (Toby Ziegler) anchors the cast as the hospital president, and the supporting cast reacts well to Dr. Murphy's cringe-worthy lack of social and interpersonal skills. It's an old-fashioned medical drama in the mold of St. Elsewhere and ER that I hope becomes more complex as it develops.

#8—The Orville (FOX)
High-concept pitch: Star Trek meets Family Guy. Uhh, thanks, but I'll pass. At least, that was my first reaction. But creator and star Seth Macfarlane's series is actually a straight-up solid sci-fi action series with just the right amount of irreverent humor thrown in. All the standard tropes are in place—stoic alien, rookie officer, understanding doctor, skilled crewmen, curious robot—but everything is bent in a crooked way where the familiar feels fresh. I watched the first season on multiple recommendations from friends, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

#7—The Blacklist (NBC)
I was almost ready to give up on this series in spite of James Spader's flawless performance as genial/sinister good daddy/international criminal Raymond "Red" Reddington because they kept dragging out the mystery of his relationship to worst-FBI-agent-ever Liz Keen, but they essentially rebooted this season by disclosing the no-longer-surprising secret that Red is Liz's biological father but also making Liz a fugitive from the law, then having shot-in-the-head-but-not-dead fixer Mr. Kaplan (a woman) destroy Red's entire criminal empire, forcing him and Liz to rebuild his network from scratch. It seems that watching Red make do with nothing but his brain and his balls (Which is bigger? Who can tell?) is far more interesting than watching them catch the latest nefarious mastermind of the week.

#6—Better Call Saul (AMC)
Prequels almost never work (Star Wars 1-3, anyone? No?), but this Breaking Bad prequel focusing on shyster lawyer Saul Goodman (nee Jimmy McGill) is one of the most compelling and compulsively watchable shows on television. We simply took it for granted that Walter White was able to find an attorney with no moral compass to keep his meth empire one step ahead of the law. Watching how a two-bit con man with serious family issues, a massive inferiority complex, and a heart of gold transform into what we already know he will become is, in its own way, more interesting that White's descent into criminal hell. As Jimmy's story edges closer and closer to his first encounter with Mr. Heisenberg, our knowledge of the outcome only intensifies the anticipation.

#5—Game of Thrones (HBO)
Plot holes? What plot holes? Okay, obsessive Westeros watchers know how far it is from Dragonstone to The Wall, and we know how fast a dragon can fly, but does all of that really matter in the long run? We all would have preferred ten episodes to the seven we got (and there was more than enough story to fill it), but we should also consider that each episode is as epic in scope as most theatrically released movies, and if you weren't blown out of your seat when Drogon incinerated Jamie Lannister's troops, or when the Night King killed Viserion, or when Lady Olenna dropped the mike on Jamie's merciful death sentence, or especially when Arya gave Littlefinger what he so richly deserved, or when the incest scene we so desperately wanted/dreaded finally happened, well, I don't know what else this show could do to entertain you.

#4—Stranger Things 2 (Netflix)
I wrote previously on this blog about how in many cases, no matter how badly we want a sequel, sometimes a perfect show or a great movie should just stand on its own. For example, we never got a Beetlejuice sequel, thank God. On the other hand, some of us were dumb enough to watch True Detective 2. ST2 avoided the sophomore slump in a big way by introducing new characters (Max, Billy, Bob), enhancing the roles of old characters (Will, Dustin, Hooper) and bringing an amazing new depth to characters we didn't know was there before (Steve, the world's best babysitter). Show creators Matt and Ross Duffer not only avoided the sophomore slump, they hit another home run that left us hungry for more Stranger Things to come.

#3—The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon Prime)
This show alone is worth the cost of an Amazon Prime membership. The first eight-episode season (block off an entire day; you'll want to binge-watch the whole thing) follows Miriam (Midge) Maisel, a beautiful young Jewish wife and mother whose perfect Upper West Side life is blown to pieces when her husband Joel, an aspiring but uninspired stand-up comic, leaves Midge for his secretary. That happens in the first episode. Drunk, angry, and baffled at the turn her life has taken, Midge ends up on stage at the Gaslight Cafe, and she kills the audience with her honest and hilarious take on how the bottom has fallen out of her life's expectations. The rest of the season follows her journey to be taken seriously as a female comedian in the late 1950s. Loosely based on pioneer comics Joan Rivers and Phyllis Diller, this series is a star-making turn for Rachel Brosnahan, and unlike my trepidation about a second serving of Stranger Things, I can't wait to see where Midge goes from here.

#2—Rick and Morty (Cartoon Network)
I don't know why this series works or why it is so funny when I describe it as a series of adventures across multiple dimensions of reality taken by Rick, a nihilistic, sociopathic alcoholic super-genius, and his long-suffering sidekick and grandson, Morty, who is constantly in a state of near-panic at the circumstances his grandfather continues to put him into. From this point, it only gets more insane, and it would take me 27 more paragraphs to try to explain it. The true genius of the show is the interconnected world it has created episode by episode, more complex in three seasons than all nine original seasons of The X-Files. Each episode is filled with blood, gore, killings, illicit sex, and various other atrocities that are, in each and every case, laugh-out-loud funny in spite of our instinctive recoil at the situation. The only downside is how long we will have to wait for season four.

#1—The Good Place (NBC)
If you've not yet seen season one of The Good Place, but you're definitely planning to watch it, please stop reading this RIGHT NOW!

Holy forking shirt!

Okay, I really don't want to spoil the surprise twist reveal at the end of season one that our four humans—an Arizona dirtbag (Eleanor, Kristen Bell), a human turtleneck (Chidi, William Jackson Harper), a narcissistic monster (Tahani, Jameela Jamil), and literally the dumbest person I've ever met (Jason, Manny Jacinto)—are not really in The Good Place...they're in The Bad Place, the target of what neighborhood architect Michael (Ted Danson) intended to be 1,000 years of psychological torture, aided unwittingly by the sweet-natured robot (not a robot) Janet (D'arcy Carden), the repository of all information in the universe in a smoking hot body.

Having completely turned the entirety of season one on its head (only Ted Danson and Kristen Bell knew the truth from the beginning; the rest of the cast was kept in the dark until they prepared to film the final episode), season two is like the best of the classic-era Warner Brothers cartoons brought to life. Because Eleanor keeps figuring out Michael's torture gambit, he has to keep rebooting the neighborhood—802 times. But the real fun begins when he gives up and recruits the humans to help him trick the other demons (not what they really are, and a little racist, but it's fine) in return for his promise to help them all get to the REAL "Good Place." When the fall episodes ended, we were left with another cliffhanger...apparently Michael's boss has been clued in to how forked up the neighborhood has become, and it looks like there will be literal hell to pay. The best news of all? I only have to wait until this Thursday to find out what happens!

But that's just all of the fun on the surface. What makes the show stand out above all others is how an immortal being dedicated to torturing human souls for all eternity (Michael) and a robot/lady/person/busty Alexa (not a robot, not a lady, not a person—Janet) interact with the four doomed humans who, despite living lives on earth that earned them eternal punishment, are dedicated to learning ethical principles and living better lives in the afterworld. I just rewatched season one after watching season two thus far about a dozen times, and it's amazing how perfectly plotted and connected the plots and the characters are. Series creator Michael Schur deserves The Good Place for what he's given us so far.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi—Are the criticisms valid? (Part Two)

Yesterday I went through complaints #13 through #7 from Star Wars fans who didn't like Episode Eight: The Last Jedi, offering my rebuttals as to why these criticisms are either invalid, ignorant, or misunderstand the point of the movie. My overall point is that the majority of the hate targeted at the film stems from the fact that it doesn't conform to two years of insane Internet theories about points such as Snoke's background, Rey's parents, Luke's lost years, and countless other topics introduced in The Force Awakens (ironically, a film the same group of fanboys hated because it was "too much like A New Hope").

Today, I complete the list, tackling gripes from #6 to #1 from the original article found on the fan site Epicstream. While these contain some valid criticisms (which I will acknowledge), they still betray a gross misunderstanding of what director Rian Johnson intended in both his script and direction for the film.

As usual, spoilers, spoilers, spoilers! Go away if you still haven't seen the film!

Okay, Chewie, go for lightspeed!

Fish Nuns? Is that right?

#6—Slapstick Comedy
Some fans didn't like the moments of humor, such as Rey's unintentional abuse of Ahch-To's caretakers, citing it as a distraction from the drama of the film. First of all, humor has always been part of the best Star Wars films, particularly in The Empire Strikes Back. One of the elements lacking in the prequels was a genuine sense of humor (Jar Jar Binks acting like an asshole doesn't count). The second thing to consider is that humor in drama is necessary for an effect known as "comic relief." Playwrights from Sophocles to Shakespeare have used it to great effect, most notably Shakespeare's grave digger in Hamlet, who wittily spars with the Danish prince for great humor, which is then in contrast with Hamlet's discovery that the grave being dug is for his love, Ophelia. Making the audience laugh just before you make them cry is a hallmark of effective dramatic writing. Hey fanboys, take a theater appreciation class, wouldja?

Purple hair is sexy

#5—Why Didn't Vice Admiral Holdo Just Tell Poe About Her Plan from the Beginning?

Okay, this is the most legitimate criticism of them all to me. If she had confided in Poe, he would have had no reason to mutiny against her. While I will grant this as a plot hole, let me try to fill it in a couple of ways. First, her not telling him leads to his mutiny, which adds drama to the Resistance fighters' plight, and also leads to the great scene of a revived Leia stunning Poe on the bridge. Second, Poe has already demonstrated insubordination on several counts, which led to his demotion from commander to captain. In a military setting, he doesn't need or deserve to know the plans of his superiors; his responsibility is to follow orders. Again, I can't explain away this plot hole, but it doesn't ruin the whole thing for me. 

The Last Jedi

#4—Rey's Parents Are Just Nobodies

This is the complaint that pisses me off worse than all the others. First of all, it's not only a brilliant conceit, but it fits perfectly with two other scenes in the film. First, when Luke explains to Rey that the Jedi don't have ownership of the Force, that implies that you don't need to be a Skywalker or a Kenobi or a Palpatine or a Windu or any other family that the Internet theories obsessed about as Rey's parents for two years. She has no Force parentage, no great Jedi or Sith heritage. 

Not a "Mary Sue"

Do you know who that makes her the equivalent of? Hermione Granger, a Muggle-born witch who has more skill and knowledge with magic than most other pureblood wizards. Rey is the same; she's a "nobody" who happens to be The Last Jedi and the only Force user who can stand up to both Snoke and Kylo Ren. 

Second, Kylo Ren himself, a Skywalker who wants more than anything to be the true heir to his grandfather, Darth Vader, tells her that although she is a nobody with no role to play in this story, none of that matters to him—he still wants her by his side. This is brilliant storytelling, and complaining because your goddamn blogsite theory wasn't true is nothing more than third-degree butthurt because you were wrong. 

Actually listened to Obi-Wan Kenobi

#3—Luke Skywalker Gets Force-Ghosted

Again, another bit of brilliant storytelling that ties in so well to A New Hope that the fanboys missed it in their outrage. Luke knows that he is not powerful enough, even as a Jedi Master, to defeat Kylo Ren. Why else would he exile himself forever instead of confronting his former apprentice? But think back to the final living words of Obi-Wan Kenobi to his former apprentice, Darth Vader: "Strike me down, and I will become more powerful than you can imagine." In giving himself up to the Force, Luke has gained the same power. I fully expect that he may team up with fellow Force spirits Yoda and Obi-Wan to help Rey achieve her final victory (which we all already know is the inevitable end of Episode Nine). Luke fully surrenders himself to the full power of the Force, and in doing so, he hasn't disappeared...he's preparing himself to do what must be done to defeat the Dark Side. 

Dude, she is SO into you...

#2—That Canto Bight Subplot With Finn and Rose

Sorry, FinnRey shippers, but FinnRose is the next romance on the horizon in Episode Nine. Canto Bight not only established the foundation for that, but it introduced Benicio Del Toro's twitchy, backstabbing mercenary D.J. (Lando Calrissian, anyone?), who I'll bet a BB-8's worth of coins is coming back in Ep. 9, as well as a group of Force-powered kids to step up as the next generation of resistance fighters. I understand if you didn't like elements of this subplot for whatever reasons, but it fits into the overall plot arc of the film itself as well as creating expectations for the final episode.

Killed by a blind guy

#1—Supreme Leader Snoke is Dead!

Boo forking hoo. Your Boba Fett fixation died again, and he died like a bitch, just like Boba Fett did in Return of the Jedi. Seriously, I've been a Star Wars fan since the original theatrical release in 1977, and I've never understood the fanboy jones for Boba Fett, so much so that George Lucas made his father the foundation for all original stormtrooper clones. He was a minor character who served a plot purpose to put Han Solo in peril, nothing more. Stop making such a big deal about him.

Read your Greek tragedy...hubris kills every time

The same is true of Snoke. His backstory is irrelevant; all you need to know is that he is a powerful Dark Force master whose overwhelming arrogance blinded him to the fact that the apprentice who he mocked, belittled, and humiliated (Kylo Ren), murdered him and took over his throne. He's a Bond villain, nothing more, and we didn't need to waste one extra second of exposition on him when his purpose was to show us the strength and power of Kylo Ren, who is the central figure of this trilogy, as I've blogged about previously.

The Supreme Leader is dead...long live the Supreme Leader! 

Star Wars: The Last Jedi—Are the criticisms valid?

It can no longer be denied that Star Wars: The Last Jedi can be recorded in the history of this franchise as the most divisive and controversial episode so far. The prequels were more or less denigrated (or outrated hated) by a majority of Star Wars fans, especially those like me who saw the Original Trilogy as children. The Force Awakens was generally well-received by most, though many complained that it was too much of a rehash of A New Hope.

What TLJ director Rian Johnson did was quite the opposite of TFA director J.J. Abrams chose to present: he went expressly against fanboy and Internet rumor/crackpot theory expectations and gave us a bold new vision that takes the entire franchise into uncharted territory...and many hate this change.

But what about the most common criticisms of the film? I'm going to address one article specifically, "Top 13 Reasons Why Some Star Wars Fans Hate The Last Jedi" from the fan site Epicstream. You can find many other examples of extreme fanboy butthurt, but each of these have some merit that I would like to address from the perspective of a fan who loved TLJ.

This is the point at which, if you still haven't seen the film and plan to, you need to go away, because extensive plot and character spoilers are coming at you faster than a stolen TIE fighter...

Okay, everybody strapped in? Here we go...

I want one in real life.

#13—Porgs have nothing to do with the story
This is true, but it overlooks two important factors. First, this is a Disney movie made in part for kids and designed to sell merchandise. With that in mind, Porgs are a forking gold mine. They're just about the cutest things we've seen on film since Puss in Boots from the Shrek franchise. Second, what they are is true to their nature in this universe—they are wild birds who get into the Millenium Falcon, and while Chewbacca has a soft spot for the little puffballs, they also get in his way at inopportune moments (kind of like cats when you're trying to read or write). In short, they're Chewie's pets (as if we needed another reason to love Chewbacca).

One of these, too.

#12—Wait, there's a hidden exit in the Resistance's base on Crait after all?
Uh, no, there's not a "hidden exit" that they didn't know about. There is a tiny gap in a fall of boulders that the crystal foxes are able to squeeze through but that Poe Dameron realizes is just a dead end for them. It's only through Rey's Force power (lifting rocks, a wonderful tie-in line to her earlier training with Luke) that they are able to escape. This helps reinforce Luke's line to Kylo Ren that Rey, and not Luke, is The Last Jedi.

This would have just been silly, guys.

#11—No BB-8 vs BB-9E showdown in the final battle
This is just fan service complaining. The evil BB droid did its part in helping get Finn and Rose captured. Let's hope he got his spherical ass blown to bits when Admiral Holdo nuked the First Order fleet. Besides, we got to see BB-8 piloting a Scout Walker and blowing shit up instead. For those still experiencing butthurt, please reference the Rolling Stones classic song, "You Can't Always Get What You Want."

Yeah, this battle would have been epic.

#10—Luke Skywalker and Kylo Ren's weak backstory
This is just more complaining that events hinted at in The Force Awakens were not fully fleshed out in The Last Jedi. But again, this is nothing more than a case of unmet expectations. What we did get was a Rashoman-style version of stories, where Kylo said Luke tried to murder him in his sleep, while Luke tells Rey that he thought about it for just a second and then chose not to kill Ben Solo. In both versions, Ben brings the house down on Luke, takes his dark side followers (the Knights of Ren), kills everyone else, and burns down Luke's training temple. Do we get to see Snoke seducing Ben? No. Do we get to see their conflict during training? No. Do we need to see any of this? No! We know just as much about Kylo Ren's backstory as we did about Darth Vader's, and it's all we need to know...they were Jedi Knights who were seduced by the dark side of the Force and are now agents of oppression and destruction. Save the backstory for your fan-fiction blog.

I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!

#9—Leia's "Mary Poppins" moment
Leia, blown into space when the bridge of her ship is destroyed, uses her Force powers to fly back to the ship, thus saving her life. Did it look a bit like a Harry Potter movie? Yep. Does it defy the laws of physics? Yeah, but so does every other bit of Star Wars from beginning to end. It's not pure science fiction, people, it's more like sci-fantasy. Hyperspace, Death Stars, Lightsabers, space battles, and just about everything else in every movie defies the laws of physics. If you want scientific reality, go watch a Neil deGrasse Tyson lecture on YouTube (they're supremely interesting). This is a goddamn movie, people...relax! As far as what Leia does, her Force powers may be just as great as Luke's, and it is her blood that gives her son, Kylo Ren, his Force powers as well. It gives the moment great drama, especially considering Carrie Fisher's death in real life, where we wonder if Leia has actually died with the rest of the Resistance commanders.

Hitler and Stalin aren't scary enough?

#8—The First Order's remaining leaders are weak threats
Excuse me? General Hux is a murderous, ruthless psychopath, and Kylo Ren is the most powerful Dark Side user of the Force since Emperor Palpatine. Did you people not see the scene where Snoke brags and evil-laughs about how awesome he is and what a weak-minded puke Kylo Ren is, all the while mocking Rey for thinking she could turn "Ben Solo" against him? While all this pompous posturing is happening, Kylo, completely unbeknowst to Snoke, slices the motherforker in half with Anakin Skywalker's (aka Darth Vader) lightsaber! Kylo Ren becomes Supreme Leader and bends General Hux to his will. Weak threats? Are you kidding me? Darth Vader killed the Emperor to save his son. Kylo Ren killed Snoke to take over the galaxy.

Run away! Run away!

#7—Why didn't the First Order fleet destroy the Resistance ships right away?
Uhh, deflector shields? This leads to more complaints about the slowest chase sequence in sci-fi history, as the few remaining Resistance ships, which can move faster at sub-light speed than the larger Star Destroyers (this is actually true to physics, fanboys), move out of range of the First Order's big laser cannons. What this actually does is set up dramatic tension, pitting the desperate plan formulated by Poe, Finn, and Rose against the secret escape plans of Adm. Holdo, all the while waiting for the last of the Resistance ships to run out of fuel. Not all chases have to be super-fast to create drama; sometimes suspense is created out of silence, not speed and noise.

Tomorrow: Fan complaints #6-#1 are addressed, mocked, and dismissed.

Review—"Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle"

I'm usually skeptical about remakes and sequels that look like nothing more than attempts to cash in on nostalgia for the original movie. Most of the time, these attempts are forgettable and disappear without a trace (this year's unnecessary and unwanted remake of "Flatliners" comes to mind). So when I first saw the trailers for "Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle," I didn't expect much in terms of quality, and I certainly didn't plan to see it.

The classics never leave us.

In life, you experience the things you planned to do, and then you experience the unexpected. Once I saw the reviews for this updated version of "Jumanji," I became curious enough to check it out for myself. What I discovered was not just a worthy successor to Robin Williams' classic original but a fun holiday movie that can easily stand on its own merits. This movie is a part of the universe created by the first, and that connection informs the entire film.

Upon reflection, my one-line review would read, "21st-Century Breakfast Club kids get sucked into a Jumanji video game." We have four types instead of five this time: the nerd (Spencer); the jock (Fridge); the princess (Bethany); the basket case (Martha, although she's really more of a girl nerd). They all get detention on the same day, and instead of smoking weed and baring their souls to each other, they find an old video game console, hook it up, and find themselves transported into the jungles of Jumanji.

Welcome to the Jungle

The chemistry among the four lead actors is one of the strongest parts of the movie's appeal. The fun of the movie is in the big above-the-title stars playing videogame characters inhabited by these teens but going completely opposite to their personalities. Spencer becomes Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, fearless and strong. Fridge transforms into Kevin Hart, completely distressed that he's two feet shorter than he was before. They play two childhood friends who grew apart in high school, and their real-life history informs their avatars' relationship.

The girls steal the show, of course. Timid, shy, mousy brainiac Martha becomes Ruby Roundhouse (the gorgeous Karen Gillan), "killer of men" with her amazing martial arts and "dance fighting" skills; her funniest moment is when she tries to use her beauty to flirt, with hilarious results. The best transformation, however, is vapid phone-addicted Bethany becoming Jack Black, "a middle-aged fat guy." Black kills his performance as a teenage girl who discovers that life exists outside social media, not to mention three hilarious bits about what it's like to have a penis instead of a vagina.

Not just a pretty face...

The plot is familiar to "Jumanji" fans...finish the game to get back home. But this time, the stakes are much higher than what Robin Williams and his cohorts faced. Like other video games, the players have limited lives, and if they lose all their lives in the game, they die in real life as well. This conceit elevates the movie from mere child's play and makes a profound and poignant statement about how we come of age as adolescents to realize that we really only have one chance at this life—it's not like a video game, or a football game, or social media—it's the real thing, with real consequences and an inevitable end for each of us.

This discovery and acceptance is transformative for the real-life teens who inhabit their game avatars, as they embrace their own shortcomings as well as discover the inner strength that lies deeper within each of them. I won't spoil any of the events that lead to the conclusion except to say that the results are intensely emotionally satisfying.

I've made no secret of my love for the latest Star Wars film, "The Last Jedi," which I've seen twice so far and plan to blog about again soon. However, the experience of watching "The Last Jedi" is intense and at times exhausting. Watching "Jumanji" was an hour and 45 minutes of pure fun, filled with excitement and laughs throughout. This time, I'm planning to see it again with intention and anticipation.

If you hated "The Last Jedi," you may not realize what "Star Wars" is all about.

Okay, let's get this out of the way first...this blog is chock-full of revealing spoilers about the latest episode in the Star Wars saga, Episode Eight: The Last Jedi, so if you haven't seen the movie and don't want a bunch of stuff revealed, please go away now and come back after you've seen it.

Don't say you weren't warned...

Okay, everyone good?

First of all, let's dispense with whether you loved the movie or hated it...we can have that argument another time, okay? What I want to talk about is what I think is at the root of the negative reaction to The Last Jedi and how we can better understand why Rian Johnson made the movie he did.

It's because he realizes what Star Wars is really all about in the same way that George Lucas did in his original vision. It's about the Skywalkers.

Specifically, Anakin Skywalker.

Even more specifically, Darth Vader.

Now, we didn't realize this in A New Hope" We thought it was about the Rebellion, and Luke and Leia, and Han Solo, rogue hero, and Obi-Wan Kenobi, and the Jedi. Wrong. It was about Darth Vader, who wasn't even the prime antagonist of the movie...that goes to Grand Moff Tarkin. A New Hope introduces us to Darth Vader through his twin children.

We realized the fullness of the character of Darth Vader in The Empire Strikes Back. One of the reasons ESB is so good is because it's a showcase for Vader, and he basically wins throughout the whole movie. The best scene in the entire film is unarguably this one:

The entire point of Return of the Jedi is Luke's conviction that somewhere inside Darth Vader, a small bit of Anakin Skywalker still lives, and he is willing to not only sacrifice himself but the entire Rebel Alliance to turn his father back into the light. Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker is the central character of the original trilogy.

However misbegotten George Lucas's prequel episodes might have been (and they were terrible movies for a variety of reasons), one fact is clear and indisputable: Episodes 1-3 are about how a young boy named Anakin Skywalker became a renegade Jedi Knight who turned to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith.

One of the reasons the prequels are mostly hated by those who saw the original trilogy is because it didn't live up to our expectations of what this story would be like. In a way, we made the same mistake with 1-3 that so many fans are making with The Last Jedi, and we let our expectations overwhelm the experience.

This doesn't mean that the prequels are good movies—they're not, and they fail on almost every level of filmmaking quality—but one thing I've seen as a college professor who teaches students young enough to be my own kids: those who love Star Wars saw the prequels when they were kids, and they really liked them...a lot.

So what does this have to do with The Last Jedi?

The third trilogy is about the same character that the first six episodes were about: Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker. The only difference is that this time around, the focus is on Anakin's one and only grandson: Ben Solo/Kylo Ren.

Darth Kylo

Yep...the third triology is all about Kylo Ren. It's the inability to see this truth that has ignited all the fanboy butthurt about all their unrealized expectations about Rey's parents, Snoke's identity, Finn's romantic interest, Poe's sexuality, Han's death, Luke's self-imposed exile, and Leia's force powers. These are all interesting facts that serve as a mechanism to tell the story being told: it's all about Kylo Ren.

Rian Johnson gets it, and he made the movie that had to be made to drive this story forward. J.J. Abrams suffered unfair criticism for making The Force Awakens too much like A New Hope. This was intentional: he introduced new characters and brought back old, beloved characters in a way that setup the rise of our true central character.

We thought A New Hope was about Luke, Leia, and Han. It was really about Darth Vader. In the same way, we thought The Force Awakens was about Rey, Finn, and Poe. Wrong again...it's all about Kylo Ren. It was no accident that an actor of the skill and stature of Adam Driver was cast in this role; the filmmakers knew he would have to carry three movies, and it wouldn't be behind a mask the whole time.

The Last Jedi?

This is the root cause of the anger at what happens (and doesn't happen) in The Last Jedi. We thought it was about Rey, but it turns out that although she has incredibly strong Force powers, she's not a Skywalker or a Kenobi (maybe...). Who tells her who she really is? Kylo Ren. Who invites her to join him in creating an entirely new galactic order? Kylo Ren.

We thought the First Order was about Supreme Leader Snoke, who is clearly as much a master of the Dark Side of the Force as was Emperor Palpatine. However, he never realized how powerful Kylo Ren was. Snoke thought he was manipulating Kylo, while the whole time, Kylo was plotting his coup and his own rise to power as Supreme Leader. Kylo Ren is orders of magnitude more powerful, more clever, more cunning, and more adept than Snoke ever was. Who was Snoke? Who cares? The Supreme Leader is dead; long live the Supreme Leader.

Grumpy Old Jedi

We thought The Last Jedi was about Luke Skywalker, but it was really about how his inability to confront his nephew, Ben Solo, about how to properly deal with the seductive nature of the Dark Side led to the destruction of all his dreams of rebuilding the Jedi Order. I submit that Luke chose to die/disappear at the end to become a Force Ghost because he knows that as a human being, he could never defeat Kylo Ren face-to-face.

What Rian Johnson has done is give us a perfect set-up for the final film in this trilogy, and it's just as perfect that J.J. Abrams will be the director to bookend the first and third films around Johnson's bold work. The question for the third film is, "What's going to happen to Kylo Ren?" How will he rule the New Order? Will he be an evil dictator? (Signs point to yes...) But what if he was telling the truth to Rey about killing the past and starting something new?

And what if Rey's vision about Kylo turning back to the light was true and not a Snoke-induced hoax? What if the key to bringing balance to the Force and peace to the galaxy is Kylo and Rey together as co-leaders, just as he invited her to be? And if that doesn't fire your imagination enough, what if what the galaxy really needs is the end of the Skywalker family?

Because of Carrie Fisher's unfortunate death, we know Leia will not be in Episode Nine. Although I'm convinced Luke will appear as a Force Ghost, he's not reopening the Jedi Academy at any time in the future. What this leaves is Rey, The Last Jedi, confronting the grandson of Darth Vader in a once-and-for-all, winner-take-all Force battle the likes of which we've never seen.

When we realize that Kylo Ren is the central character of this third trilogy because he is the heir to Darth Vader, I think we will see that the movie Rian Johnson created is a work of sheer genius. Take Kylo at his word: "Let go of the past. Kill it if you have to." They did, and it was magnificent.