Most Quotable Movies #2 (tie): The Breakfast Club and Real Genius

Today's entries are a two-for-one offering of classic eighties movies, one of which just about everyone has seen (and rightly so), the second, one that a select few of you know about, but deserves just as much acclaim.

First the familiar offering, the seminal high school movie The Breakfast Club. This movie is so well-known it needs no summary or commentary. When I first saw it in the theater, I was blown away by how well the script captured the feeling of being a teen in the eighties. If anyone asked me what it was like to be a teenager back then, I'd just show them this movie. It's so quotable that during my freshman year of college (1986), a friend and I would sit around and recite entire scenes of dialogue. If that's not quotable, I don't know what is.

"Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"

Too many lines to quote...here's the wrap-up:

Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...
Andrew Clark: ...and an athlete...
Allison Reynolds: ...and a basket case...
Claire Standish: ...a princess...
John Bender: ...and a criminal...
Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

***

The lesser-known eighties movie that deserves equal acclaim is Real Genius. Starring Val Kilmer in one of his most appealing roles, the film centers on Mitch, a 15-year-old laser science prodigy who starts college at Pacific Tech under the guidance of Kilmer's Chris Knight. Chris is more interested in pranks and hijinx than he is studying, and he tries to help Mitch acclimate to the pressures of academic and social life in college.

The pair think they're doing research for its own sake, but after a breakthrough on a super-powered laser, they discover their professor (William Atherton (Die Hard, Ghostbusters), who plays assholes better than any other actor of his era) already has nefarious purposes in mind for their invention. Cleverly directed by Martha Coolidge and featuring a host of interesting supporting characters, this is a fun and spirited comedy that is full of memorable lines and unforgettable scenes.

Ten Quotable Lines

Mitch: You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning...
Chris: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch: No...
Chris: Why am I the only one who has that dream?

Chris: So, if there's anything I can do for you - or, more to the point, *to* you - just let me know.
Chris: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
Chris: Not right now.
Chris: A girl's gotta have her standards.

Mitch: But if I stay, what should I do?
Chris: You get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative.

Chris: This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.

Chris: Hey Kent... That's your car.
Mitch: Kent, you know you're not supposed to park that on campus.

Chris: Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry but it's not like me, I'm depressed. There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races, we only had one entry into the Madame Curie look-alike contest and he was disqualified later. Why do I bother?

Jordan: I never sleep, I don't know why. I had a roommate and I drove her nuts, I mean really nuts, they had to take her away in an ambulance and everything. But she's okay now, but she had to transfer to an easier school, but I don't know if that had anything to do with being my fault. But listen, if you ever need to talk or you need help studying just let me know, 'cause I'm just a couple doors down from you guys and I never sleep, okay?

Mitch: Why is that toy on your head?
Chris: Because if I wear it any place else, it chafes.

Jordan: Are you going to take me home to meet your parents?
Mitch: No.
Jordan: Why? Are you ashamed of me?
Mitch: No, them.
Jordan: Oh.

Chris: Jerry, if you think that by threatening me you can get me to be your slave... Well, that's where you're right. But - and I am only saying this because I care - there are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.
Professor Hathaway: I'm not kidding, Chris.
Chris: Neither am I, Jerry.