My Top Five Movies of the Summer: Number Two

My second-favorite movie of the summer of 2017 is Spider-Man: Homecoming. I was excited about this movie since the new incarnation of Peter Parker and his web-slinging alter ego appeared in Captain America: Civil War, and it certainly did not disappoint. I consider this the best of all of the modern incarnations of the cinematic wall crawler for one simple reason: they finally got the sense of humor right.

Goddess

As good as the first two Sam Raimi versions of Spider-Man were (I'm talking Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst), they took themselves a bit too seriously, focusing on the darker aspects of the comics. I admit I never saw the Andrew Garfield/Emma Stone films, so I can't really comment on them other than to say I hate Gwen Stacy and will not pay attention to any of those stories even if my inappropriate crush on Emma Stone happens to be part of it.

In any case, the cool thing about Spider-Man has always been that Peter Parker is an unpopular nerd who gets to be a smart-mouth, smart-ass, kick-ass super hero. That's the part that young British actor Tom Holland nails. Peter is a completely nervous, anxious, nerdy little science guy until he puts on the Spidey suit. Being Spider-Man sets him free in a brave, nervy, don't-give-a-shit way that any teenage boy would react upon getting such awesome powers. Plus, he's smart as hell and braver than anyone else his age could ever dare to be. This movie gets that.

That's not Beetlejuice.

What's even better is the villain who plays opposite our hero, the Vulture, portrayed with chilling menace by Michael Keaton, who's proving to age better than a Napoleonic Brandy as an actor. He personifies the charismatic menace of Jack Nicholson without all the attendant baggage that Nicholson comes with (which is mostly not his fault but a result of his iconic status that lends itself so well to parody). Keaton is outright terrifying in this role because he's so ordinary; we can identify with his sense of outrage and understand why he's chosen the path he's gone down. Under different circumstances, the Vulture could have been the hero; in this film, we really believe that he would straight up murder a fifteen-year-old boy without giving it a second thought.

Nailed it!

Tom Holland captures all the right notes of both Peter Parker and Spider-Man, and he's so authentic in both aspects of the role. Equally appealing is his best friend Ned (Jacob Batalon) and his oh-so-close-but-not-quite crush Liz (Laura Harrier). My favorite change was making his Aunt May the still-sexy-at-50-something Marisa Tomei, who makes it necessary to create the acronym "AILF" in this role. She also gets the funniest line of the entire movie just before the credits roll.

The other thing that makes this movie work so well is that it's now an official part of the Marvel Extended Universe and ties Spidey in with the Avengers. I thought John Favreau was hilarious as the impatient and put-upon Happy Hogan, and let's be honest, Robert Downey, Jr., can do no wrong these days as Tony Stark. I really could die satisfied if he simply spends the rest of his career as Tony/Iron Man. I know he won't do that, of course, being as talented as he is, but whatever Disney/Marvel needs to pay him to keep coming back...well, we know they have more money that the GDP of Earth, so write that fat check, guys!

The only thing I didn't like was Zendaya as Michelle, who we learn toward the end prefers to be called "MJ." If you want to exclude Mary Jane Watson from the movie entirely, I can understand that from a creative standpoint. However, I am a purist when it comes to Mary Jane. Stop trying to change her into a different character. She's a gorgeous redhead and the love of Peter Parker's life. Cast the right actress and let the magic happen, Marvel. Trying to change Peter and MJ is like trying to meddle with the romance between Superman and Lois Lane. Some things are just right, and messing around with them is just wrong.

In any case, I think those complaints are minor issues in the light of a movie that was both as funny and as exciting as anything so far in the MEU, and it far exceeded its Marvel cousin this summer, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. I'm not sure if Spidey will return in his own sequel or the next Avengers movie, but whichever comes first, I'm camping out to be at the first showing.

My Top Five Movies of the Summer: Number Three

My third favorite movie of the summer of 2017 is Baby Driver. Unlike my comments on the two previous movies, I don't have any serious criticisms of this movie other than the title, and that's really just minor. I think that probably some casual moviegoers might have been turned off by the title; judging by the mentality of the average American these days, I wouldn't be surprised if they got it confused with the animated stinker "Baby Boss." But if the title keeps you from seeing this instant classic, you're the one who's missing out.

The best thing about this film is the soundtrack, hands down. It took the genius of the original "Guardians of the Galaxy," which did such a superb job of wedding classic songs to stylized action, and ups the ante to the level of an entirely new genre: Action Musical. Each and every song in this movie is a character in and of itself while, at the same time, an integral part of advancing both character and plot. You have to see it to believe it. This movie will be nominated for an Oscar for Best Sound Editing at the very least.

Baby, the title character, is played by young actor Ansel Elgort, who really should have been cast in the Young Han Solo movie; he would have been perfect...he even has that young Harrison Ford vibe in the way he walks, talks, dances, and carries himself on screen. This is a star-making role, and it is well-deserved.

He is paired with the luminous young beauty of Lily James, who plays Debora, a diner waitress who falls for the young getaway driver. I won't spoil any of the details, but Baby drives for Doc, played with characteristic perfection by Kevin Spacey, the leader of a series of heist crews, each of which is different. The one common denominator is Baby, whose tinnitus, the result of a tragic childhood accident, requires him to wear earbuds most of the time to counteract the ear pain. This is the element that brings so much of the music into play.

The supporting cast is just as good. Small roles by Jon Bernthal (Shane from "The Walking Dead") and Flea, the bassist for the Red Hot Chili Peppers are fun and memorable, but the real menace comes from the married Bonnie-and-Clyde duo of Buddy (Jon Hamm, "Mad Men") and Darling (Eiza Gonzalez), who play a major part in the last act of the movie, and Jamie Foxx, whose celebrity belies the fact that he's a damn good actor, and in this movie, a terrifying mix of dangerous and crazy.

I don't want to give away any more details; you need to run out and see this movie before it leaves theaters. Trust me, it's that good, and good enough to make #3 on my summer movie list.

My Top Five Movies of the Summer: Number Four

My pick for my fourth favorite movie of the summer of 2017 is Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. I was a HUGE fan of the original, in part for three reasons. First, I knew nothing about the original comic, so everything was fresh and new. Second, the late seventies/early eighties classic rock soundtrack blended sci-fi adventure and FM radio nostalgia with perfection. Third, Rocket Raccoon. I mean, who doesn't love a foul-mouthed, violent, borderline-psychotic, genetically-enhanced forest rodent?

Needless to say, I went into the sequel with high hopes. I have to say, however, that this second installment did not meet my expectations, in part because the first movie was so good and set the bar so high. I think my criticisms of the movie mirror the things I liked best about the first.

First of all, we all knew these characters going in, and I don't think there was a lot of new character development. Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) has family issues and the hots for Gamora (Zoe Saldana), who has her own father and sister issues. Drax (Dave Bautista) is a violent hothead who takes everything quite literally, Rocket (Bradley Cooper) is still everything he was in the first movie, and Groot (Vin Diesel) is a cute baby tree. In terms of the actual crew, we didn't find out a whole lot new about any of them other than the identity of Peter's father, which I will get to in the praise section, don't worry...

Secondly, the soundtrack of Vol. 2 was vastly inferior to the first movie. I can remember song after song from the first movie—"Come and Get Your Love," "Ain't No Mountain High Enough," "Cherry Bomb," "I Want You Back"—and those are the ones off the top of my head without looking on IMDB.com. I seriously cannot think of one single song from the sequel. For a movie to be so dependent on the soundtrack to help advance both character and plot, Vol. 2 is an inferior B-side.

Third, this second movie was far too reliant on complex CGI special effects that were more of a distraction than a delight. I hated the opening sequence with the inter-dimensional monster attacking the Guardians. I thought it was boring. The final sequence, when the team is trying to defeat [SPOILER], generated sufficient tension, but the effects didn't add anything to it for me.

Recent Star Wars movies "The Force Awakens" and "Rogue One" have showed us the value of grounding SFX in the visual reality of the world created as opposed to acting in front of green screens. It seems like the creative team behind GotGv2 got caught in the George Lucas Star Wars prequel crap-trap of "bigger is better." No, it's not. Not always. Not when the effects are more annoying than enthralling.

So what did I like about this movie? Why is it number four on my list of favorite summer films? First, the humor. This is a funny movie, and the jokes almost always hit the bulls-eye. These are appealing characters, and as an audience, we like them and want to root for them, so we give them permission to be vulnerable, and the movie's humor is found in their common humanity (yes, even the aliens, the raccoon, and the tree). Here's an example:

Second, the overall theme of family, especially the relationship between children and their fathers, was done with an organic grace that never felt forced or heavy-handed (like the big effects scenes did). Each character wants to connect with a family member in some way—Peter with his father, played to the hilt by Kurt Russell, Gamora with her estranged sister, Nebula (Karen Gillan); the rest of the team are essentially orphans and misfits who have created their own family in this team of Guardians. I thought the theme of family was so strong that it redeemed the movie of the rest of its flaws.

Third, Michael freaking Rooker. Look, he won't get any attention when the movie award nominations come around, but Rooker's Yondu was the MVP of the entire film. He also provides the biggest surprise as well as the most in-depth character development. I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet (all four of you), but watch it, and tell me if Rooker doesn't at least deserve a Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Award for Best Sci-Fi Acting Performance, as well as bringing an unexpected tear to your eye.

In the end, this second movie doesn't live up to the quality of the first, but most sequels don't. The positive aspects of the movie are not enough to make it greater than the sum of its parts, but they certainly make it worth two hours of your time as well as the fourth spot on my summer movie list.

My Top Five Movies of the Summer: Number Five

My fifth favorite movie of the summer is Alien: Covenant. There was a lot to like about this movie despite its obvious flaws. First of all, someone needs to hire me as a Hollywood script doctor to point out ridiculous plot holes like some of the most egregious ones that appear in this movie.

In no particular order, here are my biggest gripes about the movie. First, why was the crew of the ship a bunch of civilians? For something as major as colonizing an alien planet, you would need a highly disciplined military organization. The acting captain of the Covenant made about 27 idiotic decisions that led to disaster.

Second, how do you explore an alien planet without protective gear? I don't care if the atmosphere is breathable, everything else could be poison (and in this case, it was). Third, why on earth did these poor saps trust the obviously psychotic android? In fact, why do they even have androids any more, since every one in these movies is a disaster of Trumpian proportions. Finally, what are the actual odds that this ship would pass within shouting distance of where the two survivors of the Prometheus ended up? You could have made a great movie while still fixing all these stupid plot points.

Having gotten my complaints out of the way, here's why the movie is fifth on my list of best summer movies: It is genuinely terrifying from beginning to end. It creates a sense of dread from the outset, and once the monsters start bursting out (literally) from everywhere, it does what the "Alien" franchise does best...it scares the daylights out of you.

I liked the performances by most of the cast, although Billy Crudup is mostly wasted; his character is weak, and his decisions are laughably stupid. Katherine Waterston is the standout as the strong female (read: Ripley) character who manages to survive until the end. The supporting cast is good despite being monster fodder, especially Danny McBride, who I always like in whatever he's in.

Michael Fassbender is the best part of the movie, though, in his dual roles as androids Walter and David. I really didn't like the horror movie ending; it was too predictable and made me feel like Ridley Scott was channeling David Fincher's execreble "Alien 3," but Fassbender is so good in the role, he makes the ending pay off in a dark and disturbing way.

In the ranking of the "Alien" franchise, I put this movie in third place, behind James Cameron's roller coaster ride "Aliens" and Scott's own original "Alien." That's good enough to make it my fifth favorite movie of the summer.

Zen and the Art of Laundry

I readily confess that I was a spoiled child; I had a stay-at-home mom who took care of me, my sister, and the house, which meant I never had to do my own laundry until I left for college at age 18. My mom gave me the basics, but over the years, I've developed my own technique—oh, let's be honest and call it a ritual, shall we?—that I have elevated into a zen-like state of meditation.

The past week has afforded me the opportunity to get in touch with that state of inner laundered peace, as I've had my last week off from work as part of my college's holiday break, and Amy's been taking care of her mother, who has been ill in the hospital. I wanted to help her out by helping keep up with things in the house, and while I loathe most household chores, I find peace in a basket of clean laundry.

The meditative process begins with the basket or the hamper, which is chaos. Order must be sorted out of this chaos. Whites are separated first, followed by grays and khakis. Next comes dark colors, which are blues and purples for me, then bright colors, finally concluding with reds. Denim jeans and towels are separated into their own piles, forbidden to mix with the other clothes.

We next approach the washer. I have discovered laundry pods, pre-measured gel packets of detergent ready to toss in the washer. These are ingenious and should always be used instead of sticky liquids or dusty powders. Whites and towels are washed in hot water. I still like bleach with my whites. Everything else can be washed in cold water. The hot and the cold are the yin and the yang, the balance of all things.

When the load is finished, it goes into the dryer, making the transition from cold and wet to warm and dry, a perfect metaphor for how we move through this life. Dryer sheets are a necessity, and never forget to empty the lint trap. We should never forget that inner peace often comes at a messy price. We reload the washer with the next group of clothes, moving in the same order as we sorted them.

When the dryer is done, we experience the joy of warm, dry, freshly scented clothing. Folding is where we achieve the full consciousness of inner peace, making sure that each similar item is folded the same way, precisely, exactly, with no edges or corners out of place. Only the most advanced should attempt fitted bed sheets, however.

The joy of the process is short-lived, however, as one must put away all the laundry or risk the painful reality of a basket filled with clean laundry taking up unnecessary space on the bed, in the closet, or worst of all, at the foot of the stairs...

It's All Just Games and Fun

Amy and I took a post-Christmas shopping trip to Jonesboro, Arkansas, to spend a little leftover Christmas money (I know, right?!). One of the stores at the mall features calendars, jigsaw puzzles, and party games, and everything on hand was 50 percent off, so I bought three new party games. We love games in the Sanders house, and we also belong to a church group that has game night once a month, so the new additions will come in handy.

My new purchases were a six-in-one Party Charades game, a category matching game called "Tension," which is similar to the eighties game "Outburst," and a crazy party game called "Furt," which would take an entire blog entry to explain. Suffice to say the kids and I test-drove "Furt" Monday night, and it got the seal of approval from everyone.

This led me to think about what my top ten board games of all time list would be. I eliminated some of the more obvious choices like Monopoly (too vicious), Clue (boring), Scrabble (super-boring), and Risk (takes too long). My top ten is based on a combination of fun, challenging, and entertaining. Feel free to list some of your own favorites in the comments here or on Facebook.
 
10. Pente
A mainstay of college dorm study breaks at Mizzou, this simple game is similar to "Go," which experts say is the oldest human game in existence. The goal is simple: get five stones in a row or capture five pairs of stones from your opponent. We wasted hours of time that we should have been studying playing this game instead.


9. Mouse Trap
There's not a single one of you who grew up in the 1970s who didn't have this game. It was less of a game and more of an excuse to build the Rube Goldberg contraption that fell on the plastic mouse game piece. If your friends or siblings weren't around to play, you could just build it yourself.


8. Catan
A more recent addition, this deceptively simple game requires you to gather resources in order to build roads, settlements, and cities faster than your opponents, but you also can trade and collaborate with them to reach your goal. Since this game was featured on the 100th episode of "The Big Bang Theory," I can't play this game without thinking, "I have wood; I need sheep. Who has sheep for my wood?"


7. Taboo
One of the great 1980s-era party games, this game required you to get your team to guess a word on a card, but there were also five "taboo" words that you couldn't say to describe the word. For example, if the word was "hamburger," you couldn't use the words "beef, patty, bun, pickles, drive-thru" as part of your description. Just to make it more fun, your opponent, sitting next to you, had a buzzer to buzz you if you used a taboo word. Great game for making enemies out of friends.


6. Sorry!
The world's best game for torturing siblings, especially younger ones. Game play is remedial: you just flip a card and move the right number of spaces, but when you land on another player's space, you got to send them back to "Start"...and right into the grip of rage and insanity! Mwaa-haa-haa-haa!!!


5. Trivial Pursuit
The last time my family played this game with me, it was all of them (seven or eight people) against me by myself. Guess who won? To this day, this game is forbidden at family gatherings.


4. Pictionary
Drawing games have become a common activity in many other party games, such as "Cranium" (probably 11 or 12 on an expanded list for me) and my new "Furt" purchase, so it's easy to forget the perfection of the original. I prefer to play on twin whiteboards like Burt Reynolds' "Win, Lose, or Draw" game show, but the principle is still the same.


3. Dominion
A strategic card game set in a medieval kingdom, this game was introduced to me in the aforementioned church game group, and I was hooked from the beginning. The brilliant part is that you can mix and match the card groupings each time you play, making the game different every time. You have to think in terms of both short-term gains as well as long-term strategy. I could play this game in a 72-hour marathon without hesitation.


2. Dark Tower
A birthday present in 1981 (my 13th), this condensed take on "Dungeons & Dragons" featured board play spaces with an electronic tower in the middle of the game that acted as the digital dungeon master, determining the outcome of battles, haggling for goods, and final victory. Good luck finding a working version of this game; if you can even find it on eBay, prices start around $300. Why no one has updated this game today is a mystery to me.


1. Catchphrase
The party game of choice both in our house and among most of our friends, Catchphrase combines the skill of "Password"—the game gives you a word in a simple LED readout, and you have to get your team to guess the word without using any part of it—with the random frustration of "Hot Potato." The game has a beeping timer, and if your team is caught with the device when the timer goes off, the other team gets a point. We almost always play Men vs. Women, and as the years have gone by, the fun hasn't diminished one little bit.