"Game of Thrones": How It's (Not Even) Likely to End...

WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW!

Well, Sunday will be here before we know it, and I have no idea who the entertainment trolls will turn their vitriol on next, because there's never really been a series like Game of Thrones before. I would really like to see one of Stephen King's epic works get this kind of multi-season HBO treatment (The Dark Tower is a prime candidate, but my first vote is for The Stand, which could easily fill up at least four ten-episode seasons), but I can't see any other fantasy epic coming close what the GoT phenomenon has been. In preparation for the finale, I'm offering five different speculative theories (not to be mistaken for "Insane Fan Theories," which is the bane of my online existence...) on how the series is going to wrap up.

#1. Daenerys Wins the Iron Throne

Damn, Dany! You scary!

She's still got a dragon, thousands of Unsullied, and evidently a reserve Dothraki horde (?), and she's just shown that she's willing to straight-up murder a million people out of revenge for what was done in King's Landing to her family. Anyone gonna stand up to that? Anyone? Imp? Snow? Murder Girl? Darth Sansa? Yeah, didn't think so...

The drama in this situation comes from the aftermath of the annihilation of King's Landing. How does she get the endorsement of the great houses? They could talk about standing up to her, but no one else in the Seven Kingdoms had anywhere close to the forces Cersei brought to bear, and we saw how that went for her. They all stand in line and bend the knee...even Sansa...but the show ends with Jon and Arya going to back to Winterfell to join Sansa in forming a resistance to plan the overthrow of the latest Mad Targaryen.

#2. Daenerys Leaves Westeros

MHYSA!

She's not loved in Westeros, and while she thought it would be sufficient to be feared, her actions have engendered the kind of fear that breeds sedition and rebellion. The capitol city is in ruins, she doesn't want to rule from Dragonstone, and she may be a bit mad, but she's not stupid. She knows that no one really wants her as queen in the west, so why not go home and establish "New Valyria" somewhere in Essos? The governments she left behind are likely to flock back to her support, especially if she burns a few cities along the way to get her point across.

This would leave Jon/Aegon as King in Westeros. J/A declares Sansa as Queen in the North, granting them and Dorne full independence as allied kingdoms. Tyrion returns to Winterfell to ask Sansa to marry him again; she agrees, and names him as her hand. Samwell Tarly becomes J/A's hand, Ser Davos is made Lord of Riverrun, and the prospects for peace actually look pretty good at this point.

#3. Daenerys Loses to Jon and Tyrion

Still knows nothing

They all saw the destruction. There's no way they came this far, believing in her and her goodness as they did, to let this type of murder go unaddressed. You could see it in their eyes last week. They will risk their lives to overthrow her, and when their plot is discovered, Dany sentences them to die by dragon...Dracarys...but a true Targaryen cannot be killed with fire. Jon survives, and shockingly, so does Tyrion—it turns out the Aerys/Joanna rumors were true after all. Jon strides out of the fire and kills Dany, then takes over command of Drogon. I really want to see Tyrion and Sansa back together, so let's throw that part of the story in on this scenario, too.

#4. Tyrion Becomes King

Imp...I mean, Your Grace...

Jon won't betray his loyalty to Dany despite his actions, so Tyrion conspires with Arya to put Jon on the Iron Throne. Arya fulfills her murderer's prayer by "killing the queen in King's Landing," even if it's not Cersei. She kills Grey Worm and takes his appearance in order to get close enough to Dany to put a spear through her chest. When Jon finds out, he still refuses to reveal his true parentage and identity. Instead, he journeys back to the North to join up with Tormund, giving us our desired reunion between Jon and Ghost. Since the last three monarchs were all Lannisters, the crown is given to the last surviving Lannister: Tyrion, First of his Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Realm. Since I'm writing fan fiction now, Sansa comes from the North to be the Queen, and Arya becomes Queen in the North.

#5. What Will Really Happen

Wait until they all read my blog...

I don't know the details, but everyone on the Internet is really super-pissed off about the whole thing.

Come back next week to see if I got anything even partially correct!