My Favorite Movies: #16—When Harry Met Sally

16. When Harry Met Sally (1989) 

Genre: Romantic Comedy 

Director: Rob Reiner 

Writer: Nora Ephron 

Stars: Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan, Carrie Fisher, Bruno Kirby 

Awards: 1 Oscar nomination—Original Screenplay 

Metacritic score: 76 

IMDB Ranking: n/a

The last of my favorite movies in the Romantic Comedy genre and far and away my favorite in the category, When Harry Met Sally asks the question, "Can men and women be just friends?" The answer seems to be both yes and no. Harry insists that the issue of sex will always get in the way, but it turns out in the end that it's really much more a matter of love between the two friends.

I think the two biggest complaints I hear about RomComs is that a) they're formulaic; and b) they're "chick flicks." My response to gripe A is simple: yeah, they are totally formulaic, but so are Shakespeare's tragedies (and he wasn't even using original material). The point is not the use of the formula, it's the ingredients used to inhabit the spaces the formula allows. Baking a cake is a uniform process; the ingredients you use and the process by which it comes together is what makes it special, and When Harry Met Sally is the product of cinematic master chefs.

The second complaint is really more a matter of taste. As I said before, from adolescence to my late 20s, I was mainly uninvolved in a romantic relationship even though I desperately longed for such a connection, so I've always been a sucker for these kinds of stories. Let's be honest, both my completed novels are really love stories between my two main characters. So I reject the idea that these kinds of movies (and stories) are only for women. In the case of this movie, it's the perfect balance between Harry's male perspective, represented by the director, Rob Reiner, and Sally's female perspective, represented by Oscar-nominated screenwriter Nora Ephron.

Billy Crystal is Harry, a cynical and pessimistic guy who always sees the glass as half-empty...with poisonous liquid. Meg Ryan (at the peak of her career) is Sally, a sunny optimist who never fails to see the good in any situation. They meet after college and do not get along at all; we have our first conversation about why men and women can't be friends during their road trip from Chicago to New York.

Their second meeting is on an airplane, and they are both involved in serious relationships. Sally is in the blissful glow of new love, while Harry, in an uncharacteristic fit of optimism, is engaged to be married. Once again, their dialogue snaps, crackles, and pops. The formula tells us that these two people are made for each other, but they're not a good fit just yet.

Jump ahead several years and they meet again. Sally has just broken up with her boyfriend from the previous scene, while Harry has found out that his wife is divorcing him. Both older and wiser, they begin a friendship that does not have any romantic strings or expectations. They even try to fix each other up with their best friends (Bruno Kirby and Carrie Fisher), who are both repelled by Harry and Sally but fall madly in love with each other.

What happens is as predictable as August weather in southern Missouri (hazy, hot, humid, chance of afternoon thunderstorms): Harry and Sally end up in bed together, he freaks out and blows her off, she cuts him out of her life in anger and hurt, and he runs to find her on New Year's Eve to deliver what is, for me, the best line of the movie: "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

The skill and craft of this movie is astonishing. Rob Reiner is at his best as a director, and Nora Ephron's script is funny and honest throughout. The cast are all superb, but especially Crystal, an actor I've always liked but never found funnier than in this movie. Of course, we also have the unforgettable "I'll have what she's having" scene in the deli, one of the indelible impressions that this film has left on American culture. It's the perfect movie to share with your loved one on Valentine's Day.