Star Wars: The Last Jedi—Are the criticisms valid? (Part Two)

Yesterday I went through complaints #13 through #7 from Star Wars fans who didn't like Episode Eight: The Last Jedi, offering my rebuttals as to why these criticisms are either invalid, ignorant, or misunderstand the point of the movie. My overall point is that the majority of the hate targeted at the film stems from the fact that it doesn't conform to two years of insane Internet theories about points such as Snoke's background, Rey's parents, Luke's lost years, and countless other topics introduced in The Force Awakens (ironically, a film the same group of fanboys hated because it was "too much like A New Hope").

Today, I complete the list, tackling gripes from #6 to #1 from the original article found on the fan site Epicstream. While these contain some valid criticisms (which I will acknowledge), they still betray a gross misunderstanding of what director Rian Johnson intended in both his script and direction for the film.

As usual, spoilers, spoilers, spoilers! Go away if you still haven't seen the film!

Okay, Chewie, go for lightspeed!

Fish Nuns? Is that right?

#6—Slapstick Comedy
Some fans didn't like the moments of humor, such as Rey's unintentional abuse of Ahch-To's caretakers, citing it as a distraction from the drama of the film. First of all, humor has always been part of the best Star Wars films, particularly in The Empire Strikes Back. One of the elements lacking in the prequels was a genuine sense of humor (Jar Jar Binks acting like an asshole doesn't count). The second thing to consider is that humor in drama is necessary for an effect known as "comic relief." Playwrights from Sophocles to Shakespeare have used it to great effect, most notably Shakespeare's grave digger in Hamlet, who wittily spars with the Danish prince for great humor, which is then in contrast with Hamlet's discovery that the grave being dug is for his love, Ophelia. Making the audience laugh just before you make them cry is a hallmark of effective dramatic writing. Hey fanboys, take a theater appreciation class, wouldja?

Purple hair is sexy

#5—Why Didn't Vice Admiral Holdo Just Tell Poe About Her Plan from the Beginning?

Okay, this is the most legitimate criticism of them all to me. If she had confided in Poe, he would have had no reason to mutiny against her. While I will grant this as a plot hole, let me try to fill it in a couple of ways. First, her not telling him leads to his mutiny, which adds drama to the Resistance fighters' plight, and also leads to the great scene of a revived Leia stunning Poe on the bridge. Second, Poe has already demonstrated insubordination on several counts, which led to his demotion from commander to captain. In a military setting, he doesn't need or deserve to know the plans of his superiors; his responsibility is to follow orders. Again, I can't explain away this plot hole, but it doesn't ruin the whole thing for me. 

The Last Jedi

#4—Rey's Parents Are Just Nobodies

This is the complaint that pisses me off worse than all the others. First of all, it's not only a brilliant conceit, but it fits perfectly with two other scenes in the film. First, when Luke explains to Rey that the Jedi don't have ownership of the Force, that implies that you don't need to be a Skywalker or a Kenobi or a Palpatine or a Windu or any other family that the Internet theories obsessed about as Rey's parents for two years. She has no Force parentage, no great Jedi or Sith heritage. 

Not a "Mary Sue"

Do you know who that makes her the equivalent of? Hermione Granger, a Muggle-born witch who has more skill and knowledge with magic than most other pureblood wizards. Rey is the same; she's a "nobody" who happens to be The Last Jedi and the only Force user who can stand up to both Snoke and Kylo Ren. 

Second, Kylo Ren himself, a Skywalker who wants more than anything to be the true heir to his grandfather, Darth Vader, tells her that although she is a nobody with no role to play in this story, none of that matters to him—he still wants her by his side. This is brilliant storytelling, and complaining because your goddamn blogsite theory wasn't true is nothing more than third-degree butthurt because you were wrong. 

Actually listened to Obi-Wan Kenobi

#3—Luke Skywalker Gets Force-Ghosted

Again, another bit of brilliant storytelling that ties in so well to A New Hope that the fanboys missed it in their outrage. Luke knows that he is not powerful enough, even as a Jedi Master, to defeat Kylo Ren. Why else would he exile himself forever instead of confronting his former apprentice? But think back to the final living words of Obi-Wan Kenobi to his former apprentice, Darth Vader: "Strike me down, and I will become more powerful than you can imagine." In giving himself up to the Force, Luke has gained the same power. I fully expect that he may team up with fellow Force spirits Yoda and Obi-Wan to help Rey achieve her final victory (which we all already know is the inevitable end of Episode Nine). Luke fully surrenders himself to the full power of the Force, and in doing so, he hasn't disappeared...he's preparing himself to do what must be done to defeat the Dark Side. 

Dude, she is SO into you...

#2—That Canto Bight Subplot With Finn and Rose

Sorry, FinnRey shippers, but FinnRose is the next romance on the horizon in Episode Nine. Canto Bight not only established the foundation for that, but it introduced Benicio Del Toro's twitchy, backstabbing mercenary D.J. (Lando Calrissian, anyone?), who I'll bet a BB-8's worth of coins is coming back in Ep. 9, as well as a group of Force-powered kids to step up as the next generation of resistance fighters. I understand if you didn't like elements of this subplot for whatever reasons, but it fits into the overall plot arc of the film itself as well as creating expectations for the final episode.

Killed by a blind guy

#1—Supreme Leader Snoke is Dead!

Boo forking hoo. Your Boba Fett fixation died again, and he died like a bitch, just like Boba Fett did in Return of the Jedi. Seriously, I've been a Star Wars fan since the original theatrical release in 1977, and I've never understood the fanboy jones for Boba Fett, so much so that George Lucas made his father the foundation for all original stormtrooper clones. He was a minor character who served a plot purpose to put Han Solo in peril, nothing more. Stop making such a big deal about him.

Read your Greek tragedy...hubris kills every time

The same is true of Snoke. His backstory is irrelevant; all you need to know is that he is a powerful Dark Force master whose overwhelming arrogance blinded him to the fact that the apprentice who he mocked, belittled, and humiliated (Kylo Ren), murdered him and took over his throne. He's a Bond villain, nothing more, and we didn't need to waste one extra second of exposition on him when his purpose was to show us the strength and power of Kylo Ren, who is the central figure of this trilogy, as I've blogged about previously.

The Supreme Leader is dead...long live the Supreme Leader! 

Star Wars: The Last Jedi—Are the criticisms valid?

It can no longer be denied that Star Wars: The Last Jedi can be recorded in the history of this franchise as the most divisive and controversial episode so far. The prequels were more or less denigrated (or outrated hated) by a majority of Star Wars fans, especially those like me who saw the Original Trilogy as children. The Force Awakens was generally well-received by most, though many complained that it was too much of a rehash of A New Hope.

What TLJ director Rian Johnson did was quite the opposite of TFA director J.J. Abrams chose to present: he went expressly against fanboy and Internet rumor/crackpot theory expectations and gave us a bold new vision that takes the entire franchise into uncharted territory...and many hate this change.

But what about the most common criticisms of the film? I'm going to address one article specifically, "Top 13 Reasons Why Some Star Wars Fans Hate The Last Jedi" from the fan site Epicstream. You can find many other examples of extreme fanboy butthurt, but each of these have some merit that I would like to address from the perspective of a fan who loved TLJ.

This is the point at which, if you still haven't seen the film and plan to, you need to go away, because extensive plot and character spoilers are coming at you faster than a stolen TIE fighter...

Okay, everybody strapped in? Here we go...

I want one in real life.

#13—Porgs have nothing to do with the story
This is true, but it overlooks two important factors. First, this is a Disney movie made in part for kids and designed to sell merchandise. With that in mind, Porgs are a forking gold mine. They're just about the cutest things we've seen on film since Puss in Boots from the Shrek franchise. Second, what they are is true to their nature in this universe—they are wild birds who get into the Millenium Falcon, and while Chewbacca has a soft spot for the little puffballs, they also get in his way at inopportune moments (kind of like cats when you're trying to read or write). In short, they're Chewie's pets (as if we needed another reason to love Chewbacca).

One of these, too.

#12—Wait, there's a hidden exit in the Resistance's base on Crait after all?
Uh, no, there's not a "hidden exit" that they didn't know about. There is a tiny gap in a fall of boulders that the crystal foxes are able to squeeze through but that Poe Dameron realizes is just a dead end for them. It's only through Rey's Force power (lifting rocks, a wonderful tie-in line to her earlier training with Luke) that they are able to escape. This helps reinforce Luke's line to Kylo Ren that Rey, and not Luke, is The Last Jedi.

This would have just been silly, guys.

#11—No BB-8 vs BB-9E showdown in the final battle
This is just fan service complaining. The evil BB droid did its part in helping get Finn and Rose captured. Let's hope he got his spherical ass blown to bits when Admiral Holdo nuked the First Order fleet. Besides, we got to see BB-8 piloting a Scout Walker and blowing shit up instead. For those still experiencing butthurt, please reference the Rolling Stones classic song, "You Can't Always Get What You Want."

Yeah, this battle would have been epic.

#10—Luke Skywalker and Kylo Ren's weak backstory
This is just more complaining that events hinted at in The Force Awakens were not fully fleshed out in The Last Jedi. But again, this is nothing more than a case of unmet expectations. What we did get was a Rashoman-style version of stories, where Kylo said Luke tried to murder him in his sleep, while Luke tells Rey that he thought about it for just a second and then chose not to kill Ben Solo. In both versions, Ben brings the house down on Luke, takes his dark side followers (the Knights of Ren), kills everyone else, and burns down Luke's training temple. Do we get to see Snoke seducing Ben? No. Do we get to see their conflict during training? No. Do we need to see any of this? No! We know just as much about Kylo Ren's backstory as we did about Darth Vader's, and it's all we need to know...they were Jedi Knights who were seduced by the dark side of the Force and are now agents of oppression and destruction. Save the backstory for your fan-fiction blog.

I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!

#9—Leia's "Mary Poppins" moment
Leia, blown into space when the bridge of her ship is destroyed, uses her Force powers to fly back to the ship, thus saving her life. Did it look a bit like a Harry Potter movie? Yep. Does it defy the laws of physics? Yeah, but so does every other bit of Star Wars from beginning to end. It's not pure science fiction, people, it's more like sci-fantasy. Hyperspace, Death Stars, Lightsabers, space battles, and just about everything else in every movie defies the laws of physics. If you want scientific reality, go watch a Neil deGrasse Tyson lecture on YouTube (they're supremely interesting). This is a goddamn movie, people...relax! As far as what Leia does, her Force powers may be just as great as Luke's, and it is her blood that gives her son, Kylo Ren, his Force powers as well. It gives the moment great drama, especially considering Carrie Fisher's death in real life, where we wonder if Leia has actually died with the rest of the Resistance commanders.

Hitler and Stalin aren't scary enough?

#8—The First Order's remaining leaders are weak threats
Excuse me? General Hux is a murderous, ruthless psychopath, and Kylo Ren is the most powerful Dark Side user of the Force since Emperor Palpatine. Did you people not see the scene where Snoke brags and evil-laughs about how awesome he is and what a weak-minded puke Kylo Ren is, all the while mocking Rey for thinking she could turn "Ben Solo" against him? While all this pompous posturing is happening, Kylo, completely unbeknowst to Snoke, slices the motherforker in half with Anakin Skywalker's (aka Darth Vader) lightsaber! Kylo Ren becomes Supreme Leader and bends General Hux to his will. Weak threats? Are you kidding me? Darth Vader killed the Emperor to save his son. Kylo Ren killed Snoke to take over the galaxy.

Run away! Run away!

#7—Why didn't the First Order fleet destroy the Resistance ships right away?
Uhh, deflector shields? This leads to more complaints about the slowest chase sequence in sci-fi history, as the few remaining Resistance ships, which can move faster at sub-light speed than the larger Star Destroyers (this is actually true to physics, fanboys), move out of range of the First Order's big laser cannons. What this actually does is set up dramatic tension, pitting the desperate plan formulated by Poe, Finn, and Rose against the secret escape plans of Adm. Holdo, all the while waiting for the last of the Resistance ships to run out of fuel. Not all chases have to be super-fast to create drama; sometimes suspense is created out of silence, not speed and noise.

Tomorrow: Fan complaints #6-#1 are addressed, mocked, and dismissed.

Review—"Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle"

I'm usually skeptical about remakes and sequels that look like nothing more than attempts to cash in on nostalgia for the original movie. Most of the time, these attempts are forgettable and disappear without a trace (this year's unnecessary and unwanted remake of "Flatliners" comes to mind). So when I first saw the trailers for "Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle," I didn't expect much in terms of quality, and I certainly didn't plan to see it.

The classics never leave us.

In life, you experience the things you planned to do, and then you experience the unexpected. Once I saw the reviews for this updated version of "Jumanji," I became curious enough to check it out for myself. What I discovered was not just a worthy successor to Robin Williams' classic original but a fun holiday movie that can easily stand on its own merits. This movie is a part of the universe created by the first, and that connection informs the entire film.

Upon reflection, my one-line review would read, "21st-Century Breakfast Club kids get sucked into a Jumanji video game." We have four types instead of five this time: the nerd (Spencer); the jock (Fridge); the princess (Bethany); the basket case (Martha, although she's really more of a girl nerd). They all get detention on the same day, and instead of smoking weed and baring their souls to each other, they find an old video game console, hook it up, and find themselves transported into the jungles of Jumanji.

Welcome to the Jungle

The chemistry among the four lead actors is one of the strongest parts of the movie's appeal. The fun of the movie is in the big above-the-title stars playing videogame characters inhabited by these teens but going completely opposite to their personalities. Spencer becomes Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, fearless and strong. Fridge transforms into Kevin Hart, completely distressed that he's two feet shorter than he was before. They play two childhood friends who grew apart in high school, and their real-life history informs their avatars' relationship.

The girls steal the show, of course. Timid, shy, mousy brainiac Martha becomes Ruby Roundhouse (the gorgeous Karen Gillan), "killer of men" with her amazing martial arts and "dance fighting" skills; her funniest moment is when she tries to use her beauty to flirt, with hilarious results. The best transformation, however, is vapid phone-addicted Bethany becoming Jack Black, "a middle-aged fat guy." Black kills his performance as a teenage girl who discovers that life exists outside social media, not to mention three hilarious bits about what it's like to have a penis instead of a vagina.

Not just a pretty face...

The plot is familiar to "Jumanji" fans...finish the game to get back home. But this time, the stakes are much higher than what Robin Williams and his cohorts faced. Like other video games, the players have limited lives, and if they lose all their lives in the game, they die in real life as well. This conceit elevates the movie from mere child's play and makes a profound and poignant statement about how we come of age as adolescents to realize that we really only have one chance at this life—it's not like a video game, or a football game, or social media—it's the real thing, with real consequences and an inevitable end for each of us.

This discovery and acceptance is transformative for the real-life teens who inhabit their game avatars, as they embrace their own shortcomings as well as discover the inner strength that lies deeper within each of them. I won't spoil any of the events that lead to the conclusion except to say that the results are intensely emotionally satisfying.

I've made no secret of my love for the latest Star Wars film, "The Last Jedi," which I've seen twice so far and plan to blog about again soon. However, the experience of watching "The Last Jedi" is intense and at times exhausting. Watching "Jumanji" was an hour and 45 minutes of pure fun, filled with excitement and laughs throughout. This time, I'm planning to see it again with intention and anticipation.

If you hated "The Last Jedi," you may not realize what "Star Wars" is all about.

Okay, let's get this out of the way first...this blog is chock-full of revealing spoilers about the latest episode in the Star Wars saga, Episode Eight: The Last Jedi, so if you haven't seen the movie and don't want a bunch of stuff revealed, please go away now and come back after you've seen it.

Don't say you weren't warned...

Okay, everyone good?

First of all, let's dispense with whether you loved the movie or hated it...we can have that argument another time, okay? What I want to talk about is what I think is at the root of the negative reaction to The Last Jedi and how we can better understand why Rian Johnson made the movie he did.

It's because he realizes what Star Wars is really all about in the same way that George Lucas did in his original vision. It's about the Skywalkers.

Specifically, Anakin Skywalker.

Even more specifically, Darth Vader.

Now, we didn't realize this in A New Hope" We thought it was about the Rebellion, and Luke and Leia, and Han Solo, rogue hero, and Obi-Wan Kenobi, and the Jedi. Wrong. It was about Darth Vader, who wasn't even the prime antagonist of the movie...that goes to Grand Moff Tarkin. A New Hope introduces us to Darth Vader through his twin children.

We realized the fullness of the character of Darth Vader in The Empire Strikes Back. One of the reasons ESB is so good is because it's a showcase for Vader, and he basically wins throughout the whole movie. The best scene in the entire film is unarguably this one:

The entire point of Return of the Jedi is Luke's conviction that somewhere inside Darth Vader, a small bit of Anakin Skywalker still lives, and he is willing to not only sacrifice himself but the entire Rebel Alliance to turn his father back into the light. Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker is the central character of the original trilogy.

However misbegotten George Lucas's prequel episodes might have been (and they were terrible movies for a variety of reasons), one fact is clear and indisputable: Episodes 1-3 are about how a young boy named Anakin Skywalker became a renegade Jedi Knight who turned to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith.

One of the reasons the prequels are mostly hated by those who saw the original trilogy is because it didn't live up to our expectations of what this story would be like. In a way, we made the same mistake with 1-3 that so many fans are making with The Last Jedi, and we let our expectations overwhelm the experience.

This doesn't mean that the prequels are good movies—they're not, and they fail on almost every level of filmmaking quality—but one thing I've seen as a college professor who teaches students young enough to be my own kids: those who love Star Wars saw the prequels when they were kids, and they really liked them...a lot.

So what does this have to do with The Last Jedi?

The third trilogy is about the same character that the first six episodes were about: Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker. The only difference is that this time around, the focus is on Anakin's one and only grandson: Ben Solo/Kylo Ren.

Darth Kylo

Yep...the third triology is all about Kylo Ren. It's the inability to see this truth that has ignited all the fanboy butthurt about all their unrealized expectations about Rey's parents, Snoke's identity, Finn's romantic interest, Poe's sexuality, Han's death, Luke's self-imposed exile, and Leia's force powers. These are all interesting facts that serve as a mechanism to tell the story being told: it's all about Kylo Ren.

Rian Johnson gets it, and he made the movie that had to be made to drive this story forward. J.J. Abrams suffered unfair criticism for making The Force Awakens too much like A New Hope. This was intentional: he introduced new characters and brought back old, beloved characters in a way that setup the rise of our true central character.

We thought A New Hope was about Luke, Leia, and Han. It was really about Darth Vader. In the same way, we thought The Force Awakens was about Rey, Finn, and Poe. Wrong again...it's all about Kylo Ren. It was no accident that an actor of the skill and stature of Adam Driver was cast in this role; the filmmakers knew he would have to carry three movies, and it wouldn't be behind a mask the whole time.

The Last Jedi?

This is the root cause of the anger at what happens (and doesn't happen) in The Last Jedi. We thought it was about Rey, but it turns out that although she has incredibly strong Force powers, she's not a Skywalker or a Kenobi (maybe...). Who tells her who she really is? Kylo Ren. Who invites her to join him in creating an entirely new galactic order? Kylo Ren.

We thought the First Order was about Supreme Leader Snoke, who is clearly as much a master of the Dark Side of the Force as was Emperor Palpatine. However, he never realized how powerful Kylo Ren was. Snoke thought he was manipulating Kylo, while the whole time, Kylo was plotting his coup and his own rise to power as Supreme Leader. Kylo Ren is orders of magnitude more powerful, more clever, more cunning, and more adept than Snoke ever was. Who was Snoke? Who cares? The Supreme Leader is dead; long live the Supreme Leader.

Grumpy Old Jedi

We thought The Last Jedi was about Luke Skywalker, but it was really about how his inability to confront his nephew, Ben Solo, about how to properly deal with the seductive nature of the Dark Side led to the destruction of all his dreams of rebuilding the Jedi Order. I submit that Luke chose to die/disappear at the end to become a Force Ghost because he knows that as a human being, he could never defeat Kylo Ren face-to-face.

What Rian Johnson has done is give us a perfect set-up for the final film in this trilogy, and it's just as perfect that J.J. Abrams will be the director to bookend the first and third films around Johnson's bold work. The question for the third film is, "What's going to happen to Kylo Ren?" How will he rule the New Order? Will he be an evil dictator? (Signs point to yes...) But what if he was telling the truth to Rey about killing the past and starting something new?

And what if Rey's vision about Kylo turning back to the light was true and not a Snoke-induced hoax? What if the key to bringing balance to the Force and peace to the galaxy is Kylo and Rey together as co-leaders, just as he invited her to be? And if that doesn't fire your imagination enough, what if what the galaxy really needs is the end of the Skywalker family?

Because of Carrie Fisher's unfortunate death, we know Leia will not be in Episode Nine. Although I'm convinced Luke will appear as a Force Ghost, he's not reopening the Jedi Academy at any time in the future. What this leaves is Rey, The Last Jedi, confronting the grandson of Darth Vader in a once-and-for-all, winner-take-all Force battle the likes of which we've never seen.

When we realize that Kylo Ren is the central character of this third trilogy because he is the heir to Darth Vader, I think we will see that the movie Rian Johnson created is a work of sheer genius. Take Kylo at his word: "Let go of the past. Kill it if you have to." They did, and it was magnificent.