My Top Five Movies of the Summer: Number Two

My second-favorite movie of the summer of 2017 is Spider-Man: Homecoming. I was excited about this movie since the new incarnation of Peter Parker and his web-slinging alter ego appeared in Captain America: Civil War, and it certainly did not disappoint. I consider this the best of all of the modern incarnations of the cinematic wall crawler for one simple reason: they finally got the sense of humor right.

Goddess

As good as the first two Sam Raimi versions of Spider-Man were (I'm talking Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst), they took themselves a bit too seriously, focusing on the darker aspects of the comics. I admit I never saw the Andrew Garfield/Emma Stone films, so I can't really comment on them other than to say I hate Gwen Stacy and will not pay attention to any of those stories even if my inappropriate crush on Emma Stone happens to be part of it.

In any case, the cool thing about Spider-Man has always been that Peter Parker is an unpopular nerd who gets to be a smart-mouth, smart-ass, kick-ass super hero. That's the part that young British actor Tom Holland nails. Peter is a completely nervous, anxious, nerdy little science guy until he puts on the Spidey suit. Being Spider-Man sets him free in a brave, nervy, don't-give-a-shit way that any teenage boy would react upon getting such awesome powers. Plus, he's smart as hell and braver than anyone else his age could ever dare to be. This movie gets that.

That's not Beetlejuice.

What's even better is the villain who plays opposite our hero, the Vulture, portrayed with chilling menace by Michael Keaton, who's proving to age better than a Napoleonic Brandy as an actor. He personifies the charismatic menace of Jack Nicholson without all the attendant baggage that Nicholson comes with (which is mostly not his fault but a result of his iconic status that lends itself so well to parody). Keaton is outright terrifying in this role because he's so ordinary; we can identify with his sense of outrage and understand why he's chosen the path he's gone down. Under different circumstances, the Vulture could have been the hero; in this film, we really believe that he would straight up murder a fifteen-year-old boy without giving it a second thought.

Nailed it!

Tom Holland captures all the right notes of both Peter Parker and Spider-Man, and he's so authentic in both aspects of the role. Equally appealing is his best friend Ned (Jacob Batalon) and his oh-so-close-but-not-quite crush Liz (Laura Harrier). My favorite change was making his Aunt May the still-sexy-at-50-something Marisa Tomei, who makes it necessary to create the acronym "AILF" in this role. She also gets the funniest line of the entire movie just before the credits roll.

The other thing that makes this movie work so well is that it's now an official part of the Marvel Extended Universe and ties Spidey in with the Avengers. I thought John Favreau was hilarious as the impatient and put-upon Happy Hogan, and let's be honest, Robert Downey, Jr., can do no wrong these days as Tony Stark. I really could die satisfied if he simply spends the rest of his career as Tony/Iron Man. I know he won't do that, of course, being as talented as he is, but whatever Disney/Marvel needs to pay him to keep coming back...well, we know they have more money that the GDP of Earth, so write that fat check, guys!

The only thing I didn't like was Zendaya as Michelle, who we learn toward the end prefers to be called "MJ." If you want to exclude Mary Jane Watson from the movie entirely, I can understand that from a creative standpoint. However, I am a purist when it comes to Mary Jane. Stop trying to change her into a different character. She's a gorgeous redhead and the love of Peter Parker's life. Cast the right actress and let the magic happen, Marvel. Trying to change Peter and MJ is like trying to meddle with the romance between Superman and Lois Lane. Some things are just right, and messing around with them is just wrong.

In any case, I think those complaints are minor issues in the light of a movie that was both as funny and as exciting as anything so far in the MEU, and it far exceeded its Marvel cousin this summer, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. I'm not sure if Spidey will return in his own sequel or the next Avengers movie, but whichever comes first, I'm camping out to be at the first showing.

My Top Five Movies of the Summer: Number Three

My third favorite movie of the summer of 2017 is Baby Driver. Unlike my comments on the two previous movies, I don't have any serious criticisms of this movie other than the title, and that's really just minor. I think that probably some casual moviegoers might have been turned off by the title; judging by the mentality of the average American these days, I wouldn't be surprised if they got it confused with the animated stinker "Baby Boss." But if the title keeps you from seeing this instant classic, you're the one who's missing out.

The best thing about this film is the soundtrack, hands down. It took the genius of the original "Guardians of the Galaxy," which did such a superb job of wedding classic songs to stylized action, and ups the ante to the level of an entirely new genre: Action Musical. Each and every song in this movie is a character in and of itself while, at the same time, an integral part of advancing both character and plot. You have to see it to believe it. This movie will be nominated for an Oscar for Best Sound Editing at the very least.

Baby, the title character, is played by young actor Ansel Elgort, who really should have been cast in the Young Han Solo movie; he would have been perfect...he even has that young Harrison Ford vibe in the way he walks, talks, dances, and carries himself on screen. This is a star-making role, and it is well-deserved.

He is paired with the luminous young beauty of Lily James, who plays Debora, a diner waitress who falls for the young getaway driver. I won't spoil any of the details, but Baby drives for Doc, played with characteristic perfection by Kevin Spacey, the leader of a series of heist crews, each of which is different. The one common denominator is Baby, whose tinnitus, the result of a tragic childhood accident, requires him to wear earbuds most of the time to counteract the ear pain. This is the element that brings so much of the music into play.

The supporting cast is just as good. Small roles by Jon Bernthal (Shane from "The Walking Dead") and Flea, the bassist for the Red Hot Chili Peppers are fun and memorable, but the real menace comes from the married Bonnie-and-Clyde duo of Buddy (Jon Hamm, "Mad Men") and Darling (Eiza Gonzalez), who play a major part in the last act of the movie, and Jamie Foxx, whose celebrity belies the fact that he's a damn good actor, and in this movie, a terrifying mix of dangerous and crazy.

I don't want to give away any more details; you need to run out and see this movie before it leaves theaters. Trust me, it's that good, and good enough to make #3 on my summer movie list.

My Top Five Movies of the Summer: Number Four

My pick for my fourth favorite movie of the summer of 2017 is Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. I was a HUGE fan of the original, in part for three reasons. First, I knew nothing about the original comic, so everything was fresh and new. Second, the late seventies/early eighties classic rock soundtrack blended sci-fi adventure and FM radio nostalgia with perfection. Third, Rocket Raccoon. I mean, who doesn't love a foul-mouthed, violent, borderline-psychotic, genetically-enhanced forest rodent?

Needless to say, I went into the sequel with high hopes. I have to say, however, that this second installment did not meet my expectations, in part because the first movie was so good and set the bar so high. I think my criticisms of the movie mirror the things I liked best about the first.

First of all, we all knew these characters going in, and I don't think there was a lot of new character development. Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) has family issues and the hots for Gamora (Zoe Saldana), who has her own father and sister issues. Drax (Dave Bautista) is a violent hothead who takes everything quite literally, Rocket (Bradley Cooper) is still everything he was in the first movie, and Groot (Vin Diesel) is a cute baby tree. In terms of the actual crew, we didn't find out a whole lot new about any of them other than the identity of Peter's father, which I will get to in the praise section, don't worry...

Secondly, the soundtrack of Vol. 2 was vastly inferior to the first movie. I can remember song after song from the first movie—"Come and Get Your Love," "Ain't No Mountain High Enough," "Cherry Bomb," "I Want You Back"—and those are the ones off the top of my head without looking on IMDB.com. I seriously cannot think of one single song from the sequel. For a movie to be so dependent on the soundtrack to help advance both character and plot, Vol. 2 is an inferior B-side.

Third, this second movie was far too reliant on complex CGI special effects that were more of a distraction than a delight. I hated the opening sequence with the inter-dimensional monster attacking the Guardians. I thought it was boring. The final sequence, when the team is trying to defeat [SPOILER], generated sufficient tension, but the effects didn't add anything to it for me.

Recent Star Wars movies "The Force Awakens" and "Rogue One" have showed us the value of grounding SFX in the visual reality of the world created as opposed to acting in front of green screens. It seems like the creative team behind GotGv2 got caught in the George Lucas Star Wars prequel crap-trap of "bigger is better." No, it's not. Not always. Not when the effects are more annoying than enthralling.

So what did I like about this movie? Why is it number four on my list of favorite summer films? First, the humor. This is a funny movie, and the jokes almost always hit the bulls-eye. These are appealing characters, and as an audience, we like them and want to root for them, so we give them permission to be vulnerable, and the movie's humor is found in their common humanity (yes, even the aliens, the raccoon, and the tree). Here's an example:

Second, the overall theme of family, especially the relationship between children and their fathers, was done with an organic grace that never felt forced or heavy-handed (like the big effects scenes did). Each character wants to connect with a family member in some way—Peter with his father, played to the hilt by Kurt Russell, Gamora with her estranged sister, Nebula (Karen Gillan); the rest of the team are essentially orphans and misfits who have created their own family in this team of Guardians. I thought the theme of family was so strong that it redeemed the movie of the rest of its flaws.

Third, Michael freaking Rooker. Look, he won't get any attention when the movie award nominations come around, but Rooker's Yondu was the MVP of the entire film. He also provides the biggest surprise as well as the most in-depth character development. I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet (all four of you), but watch it, and tell me if Rooker doesn't at least deserve a Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Award for Best Sci-Fi Acting Performance, as well as bringing an unexpected tear to your eye.

In the end, this second movie doesn't live up to the quality of the first, but most sequels don't. The positive aspects of the movie are not enough to make it greater than the sum of its parts, but they certainly make it worth two hours of your time as well as the fourth spot on my summer movie list.

My Top Five Movies of the Summer: Number Five

My fifth favorite movie of the summer is Alien: Covenant. There was a lot to like about this movie despite its obvious flaws. First of all, someone needs to hire me as a Hollywood script doctor to point out ridiculous plot holes like some of the most egregious ones that appear in this movie.

In no particular order, here are my biggest gripes about the movie. First, why was the crew of the ship a bunch of civilians? For something as major as colonizing an alien planet, you would need a highly disciplined military organization. The acting captain of the Covenant made about 27 idiotic decisions that led to disaster.

Second, how do you explore an alien planet without protective gear? I don't care if the atmosphere is breathable, everything else could be poison (and in this case, it was). Third, why on earth did these poor saps trust the obviously psychotic android? In fact, why do they even have androids any more, since every one in these movies is a disaster of Trumpian proportions. Finally, what are the actual odds that this ship would pass within shouting distance of where the two survivors of the Prometheus ended up? You could have made a great movie while still fixing all these stupid plot points.

Having gotten my complaints out of the way, here's why the movie is fifth on my list of best summer movies: It is genuinely terrifying from beginning to end. It creates a sense of dread from the outset, and once the monsters start bursting out (literally) from everywhere, it does what the "Alien" franchise does best...it scares the daylights out of you.

I liked the performances by most of the cast, although Billy Crudup is mostly wasted; his character is weak, and his decisions are laughably stupid. Katherine Waterston is the standout as the strong female (read: Ripley) character who manages to survive until the end. The supporting cast is good despite being monster fodder, especially Danny McBride, who I always like in whatever he's in.

Michael Fassbender is the best part of the movie, though, in his dual roles as androids Walter and David. I really didn't like the horror movie ending; it was too predictable and made me feel like Ridley Scott was channeling David Fincher's execreble "Alien 3," but Fassbender is so good in the role, he makes the ending pay off in a dark and disturbing way.

In the ranking of the "Alien" franchise, I put this movie in third place, behind James Cameron's roller coaster ride "Aliens" and Scott's own original "Alien." That's good enough to make it my fifth favorite movie of the summer.